Tuesday, January 31, 2006

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yay GO flash gordon!!!

James Barr at 2:37 PM

dammit, my legs are leaving me.
they are being swept into the ground,
to join the minions and crowds of historically wronged men.
oh and let heaven pull me back by my arms.
stretching me between two non existants.
and end up ripping my body in half.
and my soul goes free.
yay..
where am i to go?
oh well

James Barr at 1:26 PM

Monday, January 30, 2006

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i've spent the last 20 minutes staring at my desktop trying to think of things to do. maybe sleeping all day isnt such a good thing. i havent seen more than 3 humans at once for the past 2 days. chinese new year has been spent in the dark. ( and not because i dont get any ang baos. <-- ccb). so instead of sitting in my swivel chair and wasting my meaningless life away, i have decided to come to this space on the internet and waste my time in a more productive manner. ie : writing things that are generated from my brain.

i have been living my life as a hermit. wondering around the house looking for things to eat and things to do. kinda of how a beggar wonders the streets, but i do it all in the space of two rooms. the kitchen and my room. ( and occasionally the bath room). my life revolves around two very simple items, my bed and my computer. why? because im a bum and i love it! come to think of it i havent watched television for more than 15 minutes in ages. why? because its so fucking horrible what they show on channel 5. they could not assemble a worse lineup of late night, and early morning, shows that could alternatively be used as prisoner of war torture.

i mean to sit through an episode of days of our lives is probably the stupidest thing you could do with an hour of your life. i mean you would think they'd stop it after its first decade. but their writer are still so full of shit that they just write more bullshit to keep the show running. i mean there are what 30 characters. and one person has probably slept with the rest of the cast at least twice in the whole time its been around. i remember a year or so ago, the doctor was possessed by the devil. also theres this dude called stefano and hes just the funniest badass ive ever seen. he has a mob accent but his right hand man is well.... non existant. he only has this daughter who does dirty jobs for him. hes like a mob boss, but wihtout the mob and much more lonely. this paragraph has gone on longer than it should. days of our lives does not even deserve enough to be described to someone. im sorry people who love the show. but you should be shot.

cant wait to jam with gao and jeremy. i'd actually have the pleasure of interacting with real human beings. oh yay. trouble is i have 5 hours to kill and nothing to fill it with. never the less, i shall try still to take a nap... oh im such a n00b at life.

fat lazy slob over and OUT!

James Barr at 4:14 PM

Sunday, January 29, 2006

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i've come to a conclusion. i have seen probably the worst invention since disposable underwear or chicken glasses. ( yeah they made these glasses cause chickens tend to peck each others eyes out). the newest useless piece of tin garbage to come out of a humans mind is the msn nudge function. i mean seriously it has no logical function other than to irritate and fustrate and push a person to his/her limits of madness and/or insanity. i mean it nudges your whole freaking screen and you have to stop whatever your doing and look at this nudge there. its almost as bad as pushing the person in real life, ( which has happened to me before and its the closest ive ever come to getting angry at someone). so theres this person on my msn list and he keeps nudging me and not saying anything. and over and over. and over... i mean msn is for people to communicate and talk. not to freaking cross the physical boundries and start shoving people. i mean come on!?

on the subject of bad inventions, heres a few extras. heehee.

well at least no more spillage. maybe they come in different colours to match your outfit. they have another one that attatches a fan to cool the noodles as you pick them up with chopsticks.
what? did i hear fucked up? daaaaym right.

yay now i can actually sleep on the train!! just have to CARRY THIS TRIPOD WITH ME WHEREVER I FUCKING GO!!!

the perfect gift for farmers. the ultamite farming accessory kit!! perform all your gardening tasks with one simple tool. they once had the swiss knife. well now its the japanese heavyasballsfarmingthing..

on the verge of visual images which are taking over my blog. i shall disperse another couple of images.

i was thinking of cutting my hair recently. because its getting all long and its messy. so i searched the internet for some good haircuts. i came up with a few good ones. tell me what you think. which one should i get?


the "center, yet not center parting?"

the "center that goes in all directions parting?"

or the "my hair is parting my forehead?"

good night.

James Barr at 9:31 AM

Saturday, January 28, 2006

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happy chinese new year/gong xi fa cai/ merry chinky day/ chink day!

James Barr at 6:16 AM

Friday, January 27, 2006

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OMGOD. SHIOOOOK.

and today instead on writing a load of utter bullshit i dispense to you two pieces of visual pleasure. one winona, one arctic monkey.
click here to see their video of a fuckin good song.

PEACE!

James Barr at 10:18 AM

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

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just ate a bag of ken ken cod fish snacks. and now i feel like vomiting all over my keyboard.
good night.

James Barr at 9:40 AM

Sunday, January 22, 2006

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ever seen little nuances in everyday conversations?
and realise, they mean the world.

James Barr at 8:56 PM

following numerous entries on my mudder, i have yet more tales from the crypt to tell of her. yes she is that interesting. today is about contradiction. because she embodies the word so perfectly. its not fun having a mother that is menopausing and having severe mood swings and stress attacks. sometimes i feel kinda bad because i have absolutely nothing to do at all besides housework. and since i live with her alone, its kinda like having a wife that you cant divorce. like being trapped in a ant hill, with a million red ants biting you to death. like being hanged by the feet over a bed of spikes, only to have a small mammal chew the ropes. its like being chased by a boulder through a narrow passageway. its like trying to jump a gap in the rocks, but only to fail and end up ramming your nails into hard rock to try and salvage your life as you slide through. like.. well...

so its 9am and im listening to music and using the computer aimlessless in my attempt to entertain myself. mother storms in, i have to check my e mail. ( today is extra special because their taking my aunt to hospital, and not the type for injuries). if you didnt get that never mind, you actually shouldnt. so i leave my music playing while i exit the room to make a drink. i think the decemberists are mellow enough to let my mom listen to without having a nervous breakdown. but low and behold when i return she tells me, "what is this rubbish your listening to. teenage angsty crap. dont know what you all are listening to nowadays..". now the decemberists are not angsty at all. there we are. they are a very mellow slow sound and lyrics are far from puberty and breakups. i have a feeling that she is just having her mood swing and is feeling extra like, i want to find fault with something james is doing! even when im not doing anything at all.

my reply. whos the one thats angsty huh? daaaym. i mean its bad enough being scolded for something i AM doing. like say, not washing my cup this morning. and leaving the light on, or not hanging up my clothes, or something that could possibly cause the house to explode, or maybe leave a object 5 inches from the edge, which may possibly fall and cause unwanted trouble. now that i am F-I-N-E with. in fact im used to it. actually i kinda enjoy being scolded, because it makes me a better person. i learn to do things right from then on. i learn the value of money and also to value my own life and not take dangerous risks around the household. i also learn to keep my living enviroment clean. this is totally cool. but, to scold me for listening to soothing music and doing absolutely nothing is crossing the line!

this is WAR!

James Barr at 6:00 PM

click here to see one of the best stand ups, by the most pissed off lunatic in the world.

James Barr at 10:26 AM

Friday, January 20, 2006

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MRT horror strikes!!

today has to be the most trouble i've ever experienced ever in my entire life. having had close to no sleep the previous night and my handphone being dead ( spoil liao), i knew getting jeremy to hop on at serangoon was not going to be easy. and it proved so. i left hougang and reached serangoon. jeremy wasnt at cabin 12 so i got off. having no phone i wait and wait like a dumbass down there. at 2 o clock i know this has to be wrong so i tap out and use 10 cents to call him. "daaaym im at orchard dude!!, okay ill wait here for you". so i get back and tap back into the NEL. like screw adult fare man! dammit its half an hour past the time we agreed to meet at.

so... i get down the escalator and get onto the next train. yes alright im on my way to dhoby ghaut to change trains! w00t. so i fall asleep. but before i sleep in a dream like state already i hear the words "boon cock". and i said eh how come boon keng sounds like buangkok?? i dunno if i spelt the stations right but who gives a shit anway. so i go to sleep. next thing i know im at fuckin Sengkang!?!?! so i get off and im like.. what the ****. ( fill in with any vulgarity you like). so i get on the NEL once more and head to good ol dhoby ghaut!

then... the next thing i know and realise, here i am at fuckin outram park!?!?!?!? and i was once again like.. ah what the ****? so i get off and walk over to the red line trains. so here i am waiting for the train to take me to city hall. and then at city hall i have to change again to get to orchard. and while standing there i kinda thought i think i was sitting on the mrt head resting on the back of the seat, probably drooling or mouth agape, looking like a fucking retard down there. but nevermind because i didnt realise it soon enough to be concious. and meanwhile theres jeremy waiting at orchard with no clue in heaven where the heck i am.

now this is what i call mrt horror!! and when on the way to orchard liao, after taking 5 different trains, im standing there and this couple get on at raffles place. and their all like, hee hee no your pretty. no you are. oh hee hee. then the bloody train starts moving and they come tumbling into me and i hit the mother behind me. and she tells her son, "wahlau dont even know how to say sorry!". because i didnt really care, i was too busy trying to stay awake standing up. and i have to say even that is difficult.

aiya anyway, finally met jeremy. seriously i need to get my phone repaired. but if any kind soul wanna lend some chak chak one please be my guest, heh heh. bollocks. anyway all that free time, got me thinking about the future again. and i came up with a vision. everyone will be overweight and the human species will turn into one like the ogres. why you ask?

just look around man. the graphics in games are getting so good. the whole term sport will entirely be Electronic sooner or later. therefore there is no real reason to play sports anymore. just buy an xbox33 by then and play a soccer game with your friends. or log in online and play with people from brazil. isnt that cooler than playing at braddel heights will kids that kick your shins? tennis will also lose out and these virtual players will look so good, we could have sharapova versus sharapova. and then the whole match would just be like "UGH... UGHUGH... UGHUGH... UGHUGH... UGHUGH... UGHUGH... UGHUGH... UGHUGH... UGHUGH... UGHUGH... UGHUGH... UGH..." you couple this with the whole teleporting stuff and instant food and shit, we aint gonna do anything. we'd just build robots to do everything. we'd become fat, yes very fat. and we'd become so fat that we'd be like fat bastard from austin powers. then we'd be so big that we couldnt ever mate. and so the human race will become extinct!!! and robots will take over the world!

dammit, why dont the futurologists think of this. nobody takes me serious...

okay lyric time.

You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloomed..
You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love..
- motion city soundtrack

James Barr at 8:11 AM

Thursday, January 19, 2006

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apa sial jeremy? what happened?

James Barr at 10:56 AM

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

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i'd like to share it with the world.
something i dont possess.
i'd be content with what was.
what was, what is, and what could-have-been.

James Barr at 12:30 PM

Saturday, January 14, 2006

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marcel is right, sinday mornings do come without warning. it suddenly is 4am on a sunday. sundays are weird days. most people recognise them as church days. some see it as the last day of the week. some see sundays as days out to have fun with friends. others, like me see sundays as the same as thursdays. thursdays are weird because it isnt the end of the week yet, but yet you really want it to be friday. and on sundays you really want it to be saturday again. because on satrdays, you still have sunday to feel like letting it be saturday. if your not following me that probably means you are a sane individual. if you are following me means you are an enlightened sonnofabitch!

as juliet once said, "whats in a name?". i say, whats in a blog?
and the reply is, bullshit.

juhairul gave me an awesome link the other day and i've been reading it since. the world could end soon. what do you say? massive world wide earth quake? volcanic eruption? global warming? terrorism? well not really we're going to kill ourselves. well sort of. our oil is running out. we are going to require more than can be supplied in what 5 years time. ( no facts here sorry, just the jist = we're doomed). and from then on a steep decline. and then we wont have any gas to drive a car, cook our food, fuel to light our ciggarettes.

UNLESS, we can come up with a way to bypass this. we could invent hovercrafts that run on third world children. we could use matches and our beard stuble to light our sins. or maybe we'll search the universe and find a planet that is inhabited by an alien breed that are fire breathers. then we shall meanacingly over take their world and use them in our stoves back on earth. we shall tell their fire breathing leader : cook our food or we will cook you! and then we wont have to worry about fuel running out. only need to open a factory mass producing these little aliens creatures...

why is it that only after the A's, i've begun to appreciate my literature texts. i've started reading thomas hardys return of the native now and it actually is a good book. considering i only read the chapter summarys and certain quotes for the exam. reading the book as a whole, its just filled with little nuances which make it such eye candy. tee hee. stupid me i should have done this earlier.

you're super, you really are.
just like your tee-ball trophy says, you've come so far.
it was just a matter of a little time
before you've got the dog, the tots, the pretty wife.
the post man waves, the cashier smiles.
the boss is glad, you please the clients.
you take a bow, the crowds all cheer.
it took alot of super stuff to get you here.

you're super, you really are.
you'll talk the meter maid out of the parking fines
you'll read the paper, you'll sip your mug,
while little bob and janey sing between the lines.
the postman waves, the cashier smiles.
your boss is glad, you meet deadlines.
you take a bow, the crowds all cheer.
it took a lot of super stuff to get you here.
to get you here

- say hi to your mom

on a more serious note, i learnt a lot today from jason
"just learn every step of the way, that way you wont fail"

James Barr at 12:02 PM

Sunday, January 08, 2006

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msn status : Out To Lunch
time : 9.10pm.
real status : Watching people sign in.
real real status : Hungry as balls.

its been raining cats and dogs for the past few days sial. gods been pissing down on us all, so stop sinning everybody. speaking of luck franz is coming to singapore in feb!! the unlucky part being that ill be where they come from when they come here. like a gigantic weeping pile of rubble i shall be curled up in my bed dreading my missing of franz ferdinand. but ill just wipe my tears as they fall onto my gigantic mass of a belly. been having some strange dreams lately. i had one where i was dressing up for prom and wore all black and eyeshadow and then i went out through my window and then it ended there. its like a wet dream that isnt wet, it just ends abruptly with you going.. hey wtf mate? i thought i'd be like a cool vampire or something that traverses all the roof tops and such. dreams can be so annoying. you think your in contorl but your not. its like watching tv, but your the show.

on the topic of things being interrupted, mother returned from perth today. thus marking the end of freedom and no curfews and no authority. mwahah. but on the bright side, its back to food, money and a mean cup of milo! past two weeks have been hectic shit, going out with jeremy and sarah almost everyday. well we've got to make the most of the time eh! but today was breaking point. we all just crumbled under the pressure to enjoy ourselves that we became part time jello people, and spent the day on our butts. the fact thats its raining just helps. whats up man? icebergs in heaven also melting ah? basket.

the rash is actually improving ( but doctor said look to a whole life of eczema!) but anyway i think its because i havent had time to scratch. hopefully by april it will be alright to be able to do my ns properly. part of me wants a desk job : you can keep your hair, wear PT kit to camp, and go home everyday at 5pm. but part of me also wants : grueling training, being shouted profanities at, crawling in the mud, firing massive weapons at cardboard, stripping and assembling a rifle with a blindfold, cmomenting on others manhood in the shower, and so on. so yes having a desk job sounds completely utterly fuckin boring compared to that. oh well ill just bring an xbox to camp and play with the other infected/dying/rashy/broken limbed recruits. is it me or have i blogged about this before? hahah daaaaaaaym!!

im 7 photos away from completing my 69 collection. you'll find out what it is soon enough

James Barr at 4:52 AM

Friday, January 06, 2006

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Amongst the vending machines
And year old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind
That our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth
I would rather lose
than to have never lain beside at all

- deathcab

James Barr at 4:16 AM

Thursday, January 05, 2006

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i promise to give 1/2 of my life savings to sah.
promise is a promise is a promise
cross my heart and hope to die.

/edit
and thats what you get for leaving your blogger password on your computer.

so cue the drumroll and sound the trumpets...
SARAH HAS RETURNED!!!!

gimme a yip gimme a kay gimme a yey.
yippeekayyeeey.

James Barr at 9:24 AM

Monday, January 02, 2006

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well, bonjour to you, whoever you are. here comes the dusting off the cobwebs entry because i have become a very boring person with nothing to blog about. kekeke. dad called and said he liked my lego fuck, and urged me to enter it into the turner prize. i actually deep down had a vision that such a childrens toy could announce such an adult theme to the world, showing the merging of old and young and the conversion of truth and beauty in a sphere of reality with dinosaurs and flying mammals and...

goddam really i havent blogged since last year sia. since ma relaxed her curfew of 11pm to : ah do what you want la fuck, i've been out out out! mwahah. and i dont give a damm! new years was better any other new years ever man. i always spend it with old people in scotland but this year was refreshing! talking about refreshing so were the many drinks. its nice to be so careless and have people around you who cant walk straight. so happy new year everybody.

wah can tell the ol fingers are getting rusty. humour is running dry and words are being squeezed out just to make this entry a decent length. what for anyway? i also dont know. blogs are retarded and i own one. but i choose not to fill it with what i did today entries. i find them very meaningless. today i went out with ah tong, and we went to eat prata. does that really entertain? i dunno. maybe then other people can read it and feel sad that they stayed at home all day in their yellow stained singlet in front of the television, and then proceed to cut their wrists. or it could work the opposite way. people read it and go hahah what a loser stay at home and watch tv and cut wrists. i went to eat prata with ah tong, wah i roxz! .......till the next time stranger.



cue the canned laughter,
cause everybody is crying now.
tears dry up on your cheek,
in vertical manner from your eyes.
and as they smile,
it cracks the crusty sadness away.
but this isnt a happy verse.
because the bullet enters,
from a well oiled 9mm.
and he thought to himself,
if it would hurt or not.
the next morning they found him.
in crimson glory,
this is the countdown,
count to 10 and hold your breath.
and when it starts to hurt, dont stop
well she didnt and now she lies
in an underwater labryinth.

James Barr at 8:24 AM

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