Thursday, December 30, 2004

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happy new year

James Barr at 1:31 PM

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

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identity of the person whom beleived me shall be kept confidential. the secrets safe with me wynnie! dont worry.

Grace//a pure heart. says:
take care of ur eyes nose and mouth..
Grace//a pure heart. says:
they're bleeding
the irony of dying on your birthday says:
yeah its from the steps
the irony of dying on your birthday says:
my sister thought it would be funny
Grace//a pure heart. says:
REALLY???
Grace//a pure heart. says:
it looks painful!
the irony of dying on your birthday says:
yeah it was kinda
the irony of dying on your birthday says:
but it quickly stopped bleeding heavily

the second one...

feelings are too strong; yet promises too few- says:
falling down the stairs?
the irony of dying on your birthday says:
yeah my sister thought it was funny
the irony of dying on your birthday says:
i was like covered in blood
feelings are too strong; yet promises too few- says:
funny?!?!?!
feelings are too strong; yet promises too few- says:
not funny!!!!
the irony of dying on your birthday says:
yeah i know. how could she!"
the irony of dying on your birthday says:
i just mopped up after wards no biggie

James Barr at 7:34 AM

having fallen down 100000 stairs and hitting my head fairly hard on stair number 23465. i seem to be acting a little wonky. i decided i should go to doctor harris to check it out. ive come back with bad news. i am suffering from alternate personality syndrome.
excuse me honey can you pass the sugar.
woooblebleablalo. okok sorry there it goes. some people actually beleived me that ive fallen down 100000 steps and once fell down a record 100001. thats cuz its true. alright anyway. ive just learnt from a certain girl named rachel that mr jhonny depp is staring in a new movie called charlie and the chocolate fucktory. apparently jhonny is gonna be willy wonka, charlie and all the umpa lumpas all at once. jhonny is gonna have to chop off his legs to become life like for the umpa lumpa part. whearapon he will be crushed to a pulp and added with colour so he can fit the role of the chocolate. well mr jhonny i hope you get paid well at least.
uhhh like i have to like go see mr like whatshisname harris to get my like whats it called, medication to like calm me down cuz like i keep having these like shifts in dimensions to an alternate universe where the scientific explaination is that the neurons in the brain have have a collision with the brain patterns causing a disruption.....
until next time.

James Barr at 7:21 AM

Monday, December 27, 2004

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here comes the rain of consumerism.
the arggrevating stupidity of having sales,
minutes after christmas is over.
thats right.
sales start today. boxing day.
half price off everything.
and you stand there in front of shop windows,
or in front of the television.
and say...
what the heck?
christmas could have been half as expensive. (:

James Barr at 3:46 PM

James Barr at 9:31 AM

Sunday, December 26, 2004

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Sea surges kill thousands in Asia
More than 7,000 people have been killed across southern Asia in massive sea surges triggered by the strongest earthquake in the world for 40 years.
The 8.9 magnitude quake struck under the sea near Aceh in north Indonesia, generating a wall of water that sped across thousands of kilometres of sea.
More than 3,200 died in Sri Lanka, 2,200 in Indonesia and 2,000 in India.
Casualty figures are rising over a wide area, including tourist resorts on Thailand packed with holidaymakers.

suprised singapore wasnt hit. thank god. fucking hell...

James Barr at 10:11 AM

Saturday, December 25, 2004

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hard work, good friends. the formula for success.

James Barr at 10:08 AM

Friday, December 24, 2004

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religion is a funny thing.
most people grow up to beleive a certain thing.
some people are forced to beleive.
some people willingly beleive.
some people just beleive.
and some are brought up to not beleive.
most dont get a chance.
but some, they question. there are so many religions out there, to me they just seem like degrees. people go to university to get degrees, specialise in a certain something. some people beleive in a certain religion that brands them under that religion. and from then on they beleive in just one religion. if im ever going to find my religion, im going to have to get to know all these religions. but is there a point? im just going to end up beleiving not to beleive. ill end up thinking what i think now. yes theres a higher being than us. but thats about it. its a precarious subject to talk about. but most people dont talk about it at all. but to me its one of the most interesting things to talk about. last night was talking to my dad about it and he let me into the life of mother teresa.
this time it wasnt the usual, mother teresa is a great person, she helped the poor and sick and was a SAINT. this is what the catholic church says. however mother teresa for one was so close to god that she had her own version of god in her head. she didnt beleive in pain and so her patients who were dying of pain and suffering. mother said pain is a gift from god. that morphine shouldnt be used. mother also beleived that contraceptives should not be used and she banned the condom. this however led to increasing unprotected sex and spreading HIV faster than marmalade on toast. theres much more involving money she received from all over the world. she puts the money into building useless monuments and churches in her areas instead of treatment. im not saying shes a fake, im just saying theres a deeply disturbing side to the catholic church. most of us do not know... everyones perception of religion is different. whats yours?

James Barr at 7:41 AM

Thursday, December 23, 2004

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christmas around the corner. in two days time.
this is the classic way to start your blog entry. or so i have observed.
not to mention my sentiments surrounding santa as being the epitomy of satanic gestures and an object of consumerism, i have put them aside to let festive cheer take me over. merry christmas everyone.
"new directions new elites" how accurately does this statement sum up the impact of colonial rule up to 1942?
thanks for spoiling christmas history.
ps: anyone with the answers please feel free to tag them. :) cheers.

James Barr at 9:25 AM

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

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those of you who think you are narcissistic because you think its a cool word and lots of people use it so it must be cool. so i think ill just describe myself as narcissistic. heehee, think again because it means more than just i love myself. its wake up call time because narcissists are not simply beautifull people who love themselves oh so dearly. and in the first place noone is like that and therefore your contradicting yourself. let me now show you what a narcissist really means.
1 Self-centered. His needs are paramount.
2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds.
3 Unreliable, undependable.
4. Does not care about the consequences of his actions.
5. Projects his faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never his fault.
6. Little if any conscience.
. 7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others.
8. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others.
9.. Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger and rage.
10. People are to be manipulated for his needs.
11. Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to his gain at other’s expense. If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject or gets angry.
12. Pathological lying.
13.Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, others.
14. No real values. Mostly situational.
15. Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate.
16. Angry, mercurial, moods.
17. Uses sex to control
18. Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions.
19. Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word.
20. Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment.
21. Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities.
22. Likes annoying others. Likes to create chaos and disrupt for no reason.
23. Moody - switches from nice guy to anger without much provocation.
24. Repeatedly fails to honor financial obligations.
25. Seldom expresses appreciation.
26. Grandiose. Convinced he knows more than others and is correct in all he does.
27. Lacks ability to see how he comes across to others. Defensive when confronted with his behavior. Never his fault.
28. Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow.
29. He breaks woman's spirits to keep them dependent.
30.Needs threats, intimidations to keep others close to him.
31. Sabotages partner. Wants her to be happy only through him and to have few or no outside interests and acquaintances.
32. Highly contradictory.
33. Convincing. Must convince people to side with him.
34. Hides his real self. Always “on”
35. Kind only if he's getting from you what he wants.
36. He has to be right. He has to win. He has to look good.
37. He announces, not discusses. He tells, not asks.
38. Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda.
39. Controls money of others but spends freely on himself.
40. Unilateral condition of, "I'm OK and justified so I don't need to hear your position or ideas"
41. Always feels misunderstood.
42. You feel miserable with this person. He drains you.
43. Does not listen because he does not care.
44. His feelings are discussed, not the partners.
45. Is not interested in problem-solving..
46. Very good at reading people, so he can manipulate them
so the next time you say. "hee hee im just a narcissistic gurl!!~" think again.

so then i found this on a website.
"Hello and welcome to a site for narcissists, their families, workers and friends. If you are struggling with a life of pain and fear and trauma from an interaction with a narcissist, you are not alone. There is help. And if you are a narcissist and come to learn, this is your place too. "
and then further down.
.
and then even further down.
READY TO MEET SOMEONE NEW? Lose that narcisisst and find someone who knows how to LOVE normally! They exist. But you have to act. Someone could be waiting for you here. A NEW DATE.
and then i thought to myself how fucked up this world really is.
haha good day.

James Barr at 10:58 AM

Sunday, December 19, 2004

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as i said was expecting some snow. keyword here SOME. so it wasnt really there at all. goddamm. not really as if i could give a damm though. anyway i looked across my entries and thought who the hell would want to read this. its not like its exactly particularly interesting or anything. i was veering off my very very early promise as to own a blog wiht no details about myself or my life and just write my thoughts all the time. obviously i have not followed through on my promise and shall take a few seconds to beat myself over the head with a packet of satintape dental floss which is perculiarly lying in front of the monitor. who the heck flosses their teeth at the computer.
ive just realised that actually i should be doing some work. early spurts of inspiration to catch up on lost work and get to be an expert on JC1 work. then come back next year and bless teachers with good grades have diminished almost completely. in reality its all deteriorated into afternoons in bed and evenings in front of the television. there is homework am i not correct? but technically my home is in singapore and therefore i can leave it to later. and later and later. thats what they all say anyway. back to fucking cjc where teachers do not appreciate my work and deem it too far fetched and not following the format. well does creative writing require a format.
introduction.
authors view
yourview
body.
(enter your creative part here)
support.
evidence?
conclusion.
then they come and complain about how boring it is marking students scripts. maybe if you gave a little leeway in the department of creative writing then maybe we can give you something interesting to write about. i think its time to bring up my experiment i did this year. after planning out my essay, with exactly 5 points and 3 points on opposite sides of the argument i carefully wrote it out. after hours of work i handed it up. what i got back was a disspointing E. so by the next essay i has told myself ok im going to test these dimwits. im not going to plan im gonna place my arguments all over the place. so i handed up an essay within the hour on how we must "kill science before it kills off our race" and how with "too many scientific advancements we are preventing ourselfs from enjoying pancakes and maple syrup in the morning". few days later i got it back and what did i get? a fricking D. thats 5 marks higher. so from then on i told myself. ok fuck the planning. obviously its getting me no where.
and i fi fail my a levels miserably and get stuck in junior college purgatory then i guess i will just have to sell my body on ebay...
goodday.

James Barr at 2:58 PM

James Barr at 2:49 PM

Saturday, December 18, 2004

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while reading jeremys blog. he got me dreaming too. bloody idiot. i've been scribbling in my little notebook for the past month yew know jeremy. so when i get back you shall have some tunes yes? hahahah.

James Barr at 1:53 PM

hahah i took a look at these lyrics by the ataris and i thought it was really funny. im guessing its about some stalker. but anyhow its hillarious. in a good way.

Ever since I saw you
On My So-Called Life,
I've been writing you these letters
Asking you to be my wife.
But its been almost a year
And still I've gotten no reply,
I'm assuming you have
Met some other guy.
So I sit in my room -
Watch Romeo & Juliet
A thousand times.
And I wish I was as cool
As Leonardo is...
But I'm not.
(Chorus)
I went on Jerry Springer
To confess my love to you.
You said I didn't have a chance
And there was nothing I could do.
You told me I was crazy
And wished that I was dead.
You threw a chair
Right upside my head.
Today I highjacked a plane...
I wrote your name across the sky,
Miss Claire Danes.
But they were waiting on the ground
To take me straight to jail...
(Chorus)
Im staring at your pictures
From my lonely little cell.
I'm writing you this letter
To let you know i doing well.
Until we meet again
You know I'll cry a thousand tears
And I'll see you in another twenty years.
I'll see you in another twenty years.

James Barr at 1:35 PM

Hibernian 2-1 Dunfermline Ath

Derek Riordan grabbed the winning goal in the dying seconds as Dunfermline Athletic suffered their fourth consecutive defeat.
another great win for hibernian. they move up to third spot behind invincible rangers and celtic. not that you are particularly interested. i guess this is the only time im going to be able to follow them before leaving scotland for a year with no contact to scottish football, although its shit anyway. oh well. couldnt get down to see this game as i was sleeping and was not woken. dad is hooked on sim city 3000. spending hours on end in front of the screen building his utopian paradise where his taxes are "perfect" and where he can fix the endless complaining about "now who the hell built these roads, their rubbish!" and "god this building is gastly". its all good as they say.
life just gets more and more interesting day by day. not really but, it is getting colder and by colder i mean fucking cold i could freeze my bollocks off just standing still. im guessing just below freezing point and hopefully there will be snow soon. hopefully. you know how everyone likes the cleche its a winter wonderland beautiful white fucking christmas. sarcasm aside it would be nice to see it snow, at least once for gods sake.
also i have discovered the heavenly delight of a little thing called milk chocolate hobnobs. people get ready to expect this tube to be the equivelant of what a football is to sport as hobnobs are to chocolate coated biscuits.

and also christmas cards might be coming for some of you lucky people in singapore. lets hope they arrive on time. if not lets hope they get stolend by the post gnomes who sit in the north pole sorting out which letters contain vulgarities and so cannot be deemed fit to be a christmas card and hence cannot be sent ot singapore. fucking gnomes.

James Barr at 1:31 PM

Sunday, December 12, 2004

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FREEDOM, WHAT FREEDOM?
By Ian Stuart

You may wake up one morning
And your life's been taken away
And you think back on memories
And dreams of yesterday
And you may think life is okay
And you just keep struggling on
But your freedom's being stolen
So wake up before it's gone

And they're taking our Freedom away
They're stealing our Freedom away
They're taking our Freedom away
So listen closely to what I say

The words that you are saying
Could be taken as a crime
They're even find faults nowIn the words of nursery rhymes
One group can't sell their records
Because the law is on their backs
Well we'll all be mindless prisoners
If we don't start fighting back

And they're taking our Freedom away
They're stealing our Freedom away
They're taking our Freedom away
So listen closely to what I say

The TV and the papers
Keep on saying "It's alright"
But they're controlled by the reapers
Of the dawn of endless nights
You may think I'm exaggerating
And you look down to the floor
But you'll realise and raise your eyes
As they're kicking down your door

James Barr at 5:49 AM

saw this quote on south park the other day when stan gets dumped by wendy he goes all crazy and joins up with the goths who think life sucks in every possible way and conformity is the ultimate sin. so he asked them whether he can join up and they say : to be a non conformist you must dress, talk, act, and walk just like us. later on in the cafe they are all drinking coffee and stan says he doesnt drink coffee and so the goths say : stan, to be a non conformist, you have to drink coffee. ahhh the guy who created south park is a genius.
managed to go see a hibernian game today.

its so damm good seeing a proffesional live match instead of s league rubbish. you can see the movement of all the players and the atmosphere is so intense. "fucking linesman, open yur fuckin eyes" reapetedly shouted from behind in front and sides. "thats a fuckin hand ball ref. wake up!". football beautiful football. hibs ended up winninf 2-1 scoring late in the game. holy shit we were all estatic. :). hibs are doing well. 4th in the league. heard from a guy they played rangers and celtic off the park but lost narrowly. its a good year for hibs supporters altho not many exist in spore. cmon spread the love.

James Barr at 4:43 AM

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

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just watched "dawn of the dead" the original version. i just have to say. my granny is more scary.

James Barr at 10:08 AM

Monday, December 06, 2004

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obselete - saves the day
Every day seems the same to me
I sit around and think about how alone
I feel then I wind up rather enjoying loneliness because it's the comfort of being sad- sometimes it feels so right and sometimes
I'd like to be around no one for ten straight years but
I know this feeling can't bring me places and
I know I'm losing lots of ground but to keep up means to get up and why does it have to be
the world keeps on changing while I just stay the same?
I feel like being down doesn't mean enough to anyone anymore
and I guess the world has made emotion obsolete
and I don't think I feel the same
cause after all who says what happy really means?
Tonight I will redefine everything and tomorrow
I will start in on my better days and so each their own definition of happiness but no one ever reaches it so
I don't think I'll breathe that way but happiness is when there's nowhere left to go
because in that state of mind there is no state of self
so how was I supposed to know

James Barr at 1:50 PM

good day. wipe the cobwebs off this boring blog.
anyway. ive been kinda busy the few days with the wedding and all that kind of shit. you can click here to see the photos. it was a pretty simple ceremony where eveyone must have ben quite emotional, including me. its nice to see people so happy. anyway after all the formal stuff it was time to get wasted! the party started at the house where 17 bottles of cava(sparkly wine) were opened and shared among 15 people. fricking hell. so by the time the clock struck 7. lets just say people were all jolly.
it was then off to the next part at the cafe royal. a large pub, for you guessed it. more drinking. anyway by 12 everyone was severely drunk including me. and dancing on the floor all together. i dont remember much else but it must have been good. the only thing i remember is going back home on the.. all glamorous NIGHTBUS! yeah hahah. so the newlyweds and 15 other drunk senior citizens all clammored onto the bus acting like delinquants. (pardon my spelling pls). "well its bloody cheaper than renting a mercedes i tell ya". i think the highlight of the night would be, our good friend trying to buy condoms out a dispenser with a credit card. ohh classic! thats abt all i think.
hope everyones doing good back in the land of miss vanda joaquim. i miss you all...

James Barr at 5:06 AM

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