Saturday, October 29, 2005

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i dont know what to think anymore.
because your face means so many things now.
the intricate details and freckles
spell words long enough to strangle me
from head to toe and back again.
and when you smile, the lines form
large enough to contain the massive lies
embedded in every sentence you say.
but sometimes i still find myself.
in amongst the fauna of the memories
that we used to share, but now their gone.
noises fill the air so furiously.
like poison gas come to choke me.
the screech of tires and screams of ghosts
chase me down dark alleys,
only lit by the street lamps whos glass,
half broken, chipped and dangerous.
and the end is what you see in movies.
blocked off; also known as dead end.
but thats okay cause we all have to die some day.
and the ground melts and burns.
and it crumbles like paper on fire.
as whats beneath me crumbles into ash.
here we go baby, we gonna go now.
we're going somewhere new.
where are we going?
w'ere going to someplace nice.
where there are sand castles and fairies.
and butterflies and cookie jars.
and sunsets and drive in movies.
and banana splits and lolipops.
and bubble baths and laughter.
and sunday morning cartoons.
and we're falling through darkness.
but im holding on to you tight
because your like my oxygen supply
if i was to get caught up in space,
drifting through nothingness forever.
i thought of doing a couple of flips
like a mid air acrobat you see at the circus.
at least they have safety nets.
and we land with ligghtness like feathers
we land in a place alien to us.
the colour is red like molten,
and it stretches as far as a desert would.
and in the middle of the scene is a small hut.
so we make haste towards it because its cold.
and at the entrance stands a large man.
with a bit of stuble and a cigarette.
i thought to myself, hes so huge.
he probably cant run that fast.
so we dash through his legs, red and white stripes.
and push past the doors into the next room.
where neon lights flash and people shout.
where loud music booms and dancing ensues.
where lava lamps litter the edges.
and the crowd is electric and hyper.
so we push into the crowd holding onto each other.
maybe if we reach the vip section we'll get some help.
by then we're into the middle of it all.
and young men and women swirl around,
like the flush of a toilet, swoosh.
and red lights turn and turn and turn.
and turn us into maniacs so mad.
and we dance and dance like little children,
who've just learned the good news
that they can go out and play in the garden.
and each step we take is coinciding
with the tempo the music is creating.
but the tempo decreases slowly, slowly.
and it turns into a slow song, slowly.
and we dance to the beat, in each others arms.
oh i hold you so tight, because i need you.
im so alone in this alien place without you.
cause maybe your what i need right now.
something to make we feel not so alone.
right now your face means so many things.
the intricate details and freckles
spell words long enough to embrace me
from head to toe and back again.
and when you smile, the lines form
large enough to contain the massive love
embedded in every sentence i say.
but sometimes i still find myself
with the need to get out.
i've got to get out on my own.
i've got to get out on my own..
i've got to get out on my own...

James Barr at 9:54 AM

Friday, October 28, 2005

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so my entire thursday was completely a disaster. woke up at 12pm ( 4 hours later than i had expected ) and decided to head over to school to study. so i reached all in one piece and sat down to study right up until 8pm ( from 2 ). that is if you consider 1 hour of slacking, 1 hour of eating. another half hour of talking after eating, half hour in the photocopy shop, a 20 minute nap and several toilet breaks and the final decision to go jam with jeremy and gao. wtf.
so after an hour at good ol wee lee centre. we emerge into the world to be greeted by a humungobulousyhugemotherf**kin storm! which almost blew our faces right off. okay it wasnt that bad but it was raining cads and docks. with not much money and nowhere to go we headed to the nearby coffee shop to get a drink. a taxi was the only way out of this place. and we decided to hop into the nearest taxi that came down this road that no taxi's ever come down. so once we recieved our drinks. guess what? a comfort cab stopped right beside the shop.

"f**k lets go!!"
"but what about our drinks!??"
"screw the drinks. the cab is more important"
"no we cant the drinks cost more"
"no they didnt!"
"they did 1.50, 1.50 and 70 cents"
"never mind la just go!"

right then another cab pulled up right behind this other one.

"WTF!!?? why god do you torture us"
"just get in la"
"but the drinks"
"go"
"no!"

both pull away... and my phone rings.

"hello?"
"hello Mr Barr. your reservation at Hotel 81 is ready"
so after owning the prang caller with several random splew of vulgarities, gao posing as my girlfriend and me getting very angrily jealous afterwards and several complicated sentences which involved mothers and hookers. go figure. the person hung up with absolutely no chance left in hell!
( i later learned this prang caller to be rachel and i congragulate her on keeping a serious tone throughout the whole thing. we should combine our talents and prang call other idiots!)
and next time dont tell someone that your gonan take their deposit when they didnt even give one. that was damm hillarious!!

a few minutes later i remembered i had an umbrella in my bag. yeah what are the odds. and so i went out to the other adjacent road to flag a cab down. so i manage to get the first cab. so i signal to them okay lets go come in! then they make a mad dash into the taxi and the uncle is screaming "going **** place" i didnt really hear. "cannot go hougang!". ohhh f**k. so we run back into the coffee shop. why god why!!!
the next taxi was okay. we actually were going where we wanted to go. apart from not being able to drop gao off at the MRT cause the taxi driver decided on a sudden swerve into a "short cut". so we directed him in chinese or whatever. getting it wrong a few times and finally after some zhuas and whatever right is we reached jeremys ulu house. "jeremy how the f**k to get out of here?". he replied "just go to the end and turn left and keep going".
i would now like to thank jeremy to the max for telling me to turn left at a one way street going right. thanks you d**k. so we spent about 70 cents worth of cab time trying to get out of this place. and finally i reached home. leaving the taxi and splashing into a huge puddle beside it. "oh thanks forces of fate and nature".
boys and girls what does this show?
DO NOT SIDETRACK FROM STUDYING FOR YOUR A'S EVER EVER AGAIN!!

James Barr at 7:54 AM

TOM DICK AND HARRY ARE SITTING AROUND!
OKAY LETS ALL SHOUT YOU MORONS!
CMON LETS GO! OKAY on 3!!
1
2

* TOM AND DICK SHOUT "YOU MORONS" *
AHAHHAHA

HARRY : "dude... that was only 2! wtf..."

James Barr at 7:31 AM

Thursday, October 27, 2005

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"people fall in love. grow up. wise up. soon they learn that its just an indulgence. they get bored and lonely. and they wonder why they are lonley. and everyday just gets worse and worse. and they grow further and further apart. but then someone else comes along. and they seem special. their smile seems like something different. and they add a sort of connection. and then life doesnt seem so lonely anymore. so maybe then love is just something or someone that doesnt make you so lonely. you make me feel less lonely."

James Barr at 10:32 AM

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

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pro-cras-ti-nate
v. intr.

To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

v. tr.

To postpone or delay needlessly.

James Barr at 9:41 AM

Monday, October 24, 2005

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with the absence of anything fun to do in the house besides torturing ants with the gas stove lighter and miming stupid chinese programs on channel 8, i decided to look around and uncover the lost mystreries of my past! however in my adventure around my hdb flat i didnt find anything particularly interesting that belonged to me except a he-man toy and some embarrassing cd's. however i did find something that caught me horrified and dumbfounded. a series of VCD's belonging to my very own mother. and no they are not what you are thinking : porno. its even worse. exercise videos entitled "get that firm butt in half an hour" and "nancys exercise routine to get that body you deserve" and thats not all for nuderneath there lay....... oh it pains me to retell it..... a linedancing vcd!!!
i mean of all things. i really cannot imagine my mother in a cowgirl outfit blurting out "yeeehaw!" and dancing around in a pair of boots that jingle. shes over the age of 50 now and can hardly bend over. i mean isnt linedancing a bit ambitious. when confronted : "mother why do you have linedancing videos in the house?" she replied simply. "im thinking of taking it up". "like when? when your 70 and have double the amount of physical limitations?". okay so i didnt say that last line because i respect my mother to the max. i would even respect her if she called out to me and a bunch of friends while she was linedancing as we passed the nearby community centre. although i'd probably cut off all family ties with her. but im not going to make anymore fun of my mum because she has just made some sago pudding and it tastes better than good!
you know i really find it odd as i sit here blogging and then downloading numerous random songs by completely random people and then deleting them because they suck, when my A's is in two weeks. i dont even know what to do for GP already considering i always fail (refer to previous entry for reasons). they say i write too informally and i reply who wants to read something formal?? im not as boring as you miss lee. which reminds me she forced me to go for consultation today but i conveniently forgot. i havent been reading the papers for quite some time.. lets say what 18 years? i got an F for current affairs but in my testimonial mr rajoo pointed out : "james has a wide scope of current affairs and a range of issues at hand" or something like that.
ive also increased the font on the blog because either im loosing my eyesight or i just realised the words are fucking small. smaller than..... nevermind. which reminds me i havent got my letter of enlistment for NS. hey just cause im half ang moh doesnt mean you wankers need be delaying my enlistment to serve the (stupid) nation. i bet when i go into the army im going to get this question thrown at me a millions times : huh you must do ns meh?. ive already got it about half a million times already. but unlike majority of the male population i shall be recieving a desk job! HAHA! all you noobs shall be shitting in bushes and getting chaffes in unwanted places and blisters on your toes. wheareas i shall be in an air conditioned room with an X-box plugged into the television playing halo 2 with a fellow rash-fested individual. but i guess i'll miss the whole NS experience. hah but fuck it the experience sucks anyway so dont try and console yourselves! (especially jeremy). but i gotta admit being at a desk for 10 years of my life, im not so looking forward to being a desky for another 2 bloody years.
i dont even know why i keep up a blog. do i derive any sort of pleasure from writing meaningless entries that do not directly have any positive impact on someones life. furthermore i run the risk of being fined should i ever say something like "fuck the goverment" or "i hate ******* <-- minority group". so people why do we keep blogs? we all need counseling but cant afford one therefore we hop to www.blogger.com to get a free one who listens to all your problems! anyway i better be going before i say something like "kuan yew is a dick!" woops i guess i already did. i know i share the same birthday as him but still. imagine if he died i would get a holiday every year for the rest of my life. hahaha. touch wood ah!. woops no wood...

James Barr at 8:57 AM

Friday, October 21, 2005

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why is the word "coughing" pronounced "coffing"
WHY IS GH pronounced as F ???
is there any logical and relevant explaination?
so why not change the entire english language.

"OMG your so pale. you looks like you've just seen a FOST!"

"hey mum wow your baking. can i have some of that cookie DOUF"

"thouf you are not suspicious i shall have to thouroufly search you!"

"have you ever been to that country? Fana?"

but then again theres tough,rough,trough,slough,... okay thats enouGH.
so therefore i have no argument at all.
goddamm why am i so dumb,imbecilic, moronic, thickheaded, insensate, deficient, obtuse, ludicrous, stupefied, brainless, inane, simple-minded, half-baked, dense, idiotic and , dopy....

James Barr at 8:34 AM

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

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we've all heard of the Nobel prizes right. well recently theres been a ceremony.and its called the Ig Nobel prizes. well what is it about. just think nobel... the opposite! its awards given to scientists and others on their most useless and meaningless and nonsensical and rubbish and lame and retarded and weird and stupid and smart but dumb and cool and dumbfounding and just plain interesting work. let me recap some of them i read on their site. the funniests ones.

PHYSICS: John Mainstone and the late Thomas Parnell of the University of Queensland, Australia, for patiently conducting an experiment that began in the year 1927 -- in which a glob of congealed black tar has been slowly, slowly dripping through a funnel, at a rate of approximately one drop every nine years.

PEACE: Claire Rind and Peter Simmons of Newcastle University, in the U.K., for electrically monitoring the activity of a brain cell in a locust while that locust was watching selected highlights from the movie "Star Wars."

i read on and it did say some comments such as, the locusts responded significantly to the X-wing planes. hahah totally hillarious. they also managed to spot glitches and a flaw in darth vaders lightsaber. naw just kidding...

CHEMISTRY: Edward Cussler of the University of Minnesota and Brian Gettelfinger of the University of Minnesota and the University of Wisconsin, for conducting a careful experiment to settle the longstanding scientific question: can people swim faster in syrup or in water?

NUTRITION: Dr. Yoshiro Nakamats of Tokyo, Japan, for photographing and retrospectively analyzing every meal he has consumed during a period of 34 years (and counting).

MEDICINE
Steven Stack of Wayne State University, Detroit, Michigan, USA and James Gundlach of Auburn University, Auburn, Alabama, USA, for their published report "The Effect of Country Music on Suicide."

this has got to be the best award ceremony is the world man! either these "scientists" have to much time or they are just very intellectually stimulated. our world is weird. the people that live in our world are weirder. these people are weirder than the world and all the people put together in a very enclosed space and compressed into a chocolate bar and then consumed by a penguin who then slips and gets eaten by a large fish who then swims around and gets eaten by a shark who then gets captured and de-finned and who then gets eaten by us and we therefore become weird!

James Barr at 10:01 AM

Monday, October 17, 2005

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you know about the latest friendster feature right. you know the "whos viewed me" feature. well some people mayb think. hey this is really cool maybe now i can know if that girl likes me. or for girls : that guy. or maybe just see which friend has viewed you. however the great people at friendster.com did not see the negative effects. especially when you get this guy knocking at your door.

a guy from jakarta who is looking for relationships with men and dating men. well next time you log into friendster, dont be suprised to see a lesbian from japan. oh goodness.

James Barr at 6:27 AM

Saturday, October 15, 2005

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my prelim GP exam paper. so i finished early and checked several times to the point that my own writing bored the shit out of me. i had like 10 minutes to go and ended up doodling on the question paper.

HOWEVER. obviously "mr marker" didnt find it to his liking and decided to draw a super hero of his own (which looks more like a cat head with badly drawn wiskers and a stick body which my character could snap into half oh so easily. not to mention it does not have any arms and its wings are small and.... it would probably just fall down if it tried to fly.) to "crush" my character. well izzit a A. izzit a B. izzit a C. No its an F for f*** you! haha just kiddin :)

James Barr at 8:46 AM

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

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Anthony : "Daaaaaaaym"

James Barr at 10:52 AM

so im at the docks
and the winds are blowing tremendously
and the air is thick and cold.
the sand is hard and crunchy.
and i see this white seagull paddling about in the water.
and i ask him like... "hey wheres the lighthouse, i heard they are.. like nice"
i dont get a response so i go on.
and i try to climb the moist wall,
getting my suit wet and dirty.
my pocket gets ripped by a barnacle on the side.
but i manage to reach the top.
and on the other side of the wall is this gigantic croud.
so i drop down and carefully traverse the mossy rocks.
everyone is so frantic and scared.
the feeling is infectious and i feel the urge to escape.
but by this time im well into the middle.
i keep shouting "wheres the lighthouse??" "i have to find the lighthouse"
they all dont have faces and they are just moshing about,
banging into each other like rubber dolls, swinging their arms about.
i close my eyes waiting for everything to go quiet...
and it happens.
the voices fade away and the panic dissapears slowly.
and i open my eyes and the wind is blowing just as strong.
and the cold seeps into my clothes.
in the midst of the fog, i could make out a small light.
just visible through all the obstruction.
its my lighthouse i say soflty.
but i realise that theres nobody to share my joy.
nobody to tell my experience to.
if only you were there.
if only you saw what i saw.
heard what i heard.
then we would be one.
connected by a memory.
intertwined in confusion.
cause thats how relationships are formed.
and developed as well; by experiences.
this side of the wall suddenly didnt deliver what i came to get.
its more empty.
at least on the other side i could get back to you.
cause i knew you were on the same side.
but i tell myself to stop dwelling in such thoughts.
they only drag you down.
be content with yourself and thats it.
you bring happiness to yourself. noone else.
as robert frost said once,
"friends make the pretense of following you to your grave.
but before you are in it, their backs are turned".
im not saying that just because ive crossed this wall that i dont need you.
its just that i cant need you.
i need my lighthouse, cause that is my direction.
ive chosen my direction and intend to fulfill it.
i miss holding my briefcase.
it had all my things in it.
just having it was a comfort, even if it was empty.
something to hold on the way home.
i suppose its an adult blanket.
why is it now i find myself doing the most random things.
abandoning my whole life in search for something meaningless.
cause whats the point.
when i find this lighthouse.
is it going to be the light at the end of my tunnel.
or maybe the headlights of an oncoming train.
you'll never know until you see it, or get to it.
it was roundabout now that i began to realise.
my ears were hurting from the cold.
as if it was piercing bits of ice.
but my legs continued taking me.
cause you dont feel tired when you keep going.
its only when you stop.
and by now it was within distance of a pebble-toss.
so huge and gigantic.
like a huge torch giving hope to many a lost ships.
i found a small rock beside it.
it was dry, so i took a seat.
the moon was glowing.
but it was nowhere close to my beacon.
well i could call it my beacon couldnt i.
i mean the beach was so far away.
and nobody takes walks at this time.
maybe except for someone like me.
had a little too much to drink.
i've never done drugs though.
must be all the advertising.
"marajuana kills!"
well i wish i had tried it. like the badass from the movie.
wonder what it would be like.
but i rather not. im too aprehensive.
god why do you do this to me?
why do beleive in you, while you do nothing.
faith? faith in what?
im following a pathless road that goes nowhere.
and at every divergence, im clueless.
somehow you answer me.
in all this silence.
like suddenly your my lighthouse. even though i dont beleive in them.
i dont beleive in you but your there.
all these voices flood my head.
sinking any rational thought in an instance.
i get up from my rock and fumble about.
the wet mossed rocks dont really help.
its so slippery but i have to get away.
away from these voices saying all these nasty things.
the water is so dark.
theres no light
how deep is it?
i slip and take a fall.
plunging into the water.
i dont know how to swim.
my parents never taught me.

its 1.22 in the morning and i just spent an hour doing this whole entry. hope someone finds it useful. i sure did. tomorrows the last day of school.. oh bollocks.. the only thing i actually enjoy in my life.

James Barr at 10:23 AM

Japan: Prankster caught for harrassing operators

A man who called a telephone directory service for no reason more than 7,000 times was arrested Tuesday, Japanese police reported Wednesday.

Hideo Shimizu, a 63-year-old unemployed man, was taken into custody by the police in Mie prefecture, southern Japan, for allegedly calling NTT's directory services over 7,000 times between November 2004 and January 2005.

Shimizu would usually call when drunk and try to pick fights with phone operators who would take his calls. Of the 700 operators who worked at NTT's Nagoya service center where the calls were taken, 60 said that they felt ill as a result of his continued prank calls.

Shimizu said he made the calls because he felt lonely since his wife died three years ago. On the day of his arrest, he had already called the center 12 times.

i hope the newspaper realises that 7000 times is a lot... like really a lot.. like 7000 divided by 90 ( november to january ) <--- assuming that he started at the beginning of november and end of january. cause if he started at the end of november and beginning of january that would be like 30 days.. okay so..

7000/90 = 77.777777777777777777777777.
so that means he calls the fucking place 77 times a day. each phone call is what (singapore 5cents?).. so...

7000 X 0.05 = $350. the dudes 63 years old and doesnt have a job. shouldnt he be like using the money to buy ganja and whiskey to releive his depression? i mean phoning a directory service??? man japanese are weird. must be their education system and all the perverted men running around the street. well with all those short skirt students its no wonder... mmm short skirts... well if you ask me. if i were 63 years old and didnt have a job and my wife died. i would use $350 bucks to get a makeover, some viagra pills and some breath mints. in that order.

James Barr at 9:30 AM

Saturday, October 08, 2005

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two things i noticed about friendster.
the relationship between how well people know each other and how long their testimonials are for them in inversely proportionate. it seems the longer you know someone the shorter testimonials become. like "hey see you in school tomor!" or private jokes which nobody gets like "old uncles with green hair! haha! yeah~ -end" or "remember the blue ducks!? hahah yeah!! - end". so the shorter someones testimonial is for you next time. it shows how much they know you! so go write everyone a testimonial that says "hi!" or maybe just "h" or how bout ".". or maybe just not leave them a testimonial. so people i have never sent a testimonial too, damm i know you well! good frens!
secondly i cant come to terms with the whole reflection thing. ( taking pictures of your reflection). i mean it would be totally embarrassing if someone walked in on you like smiling and laughing to yourself in front of the mirror right? okay im not going to go on cause one of my friends might come up to me in school and say "hey you ****** whats wrong with ***** taking pictures of the mirror! ****!". taking pictures of reflections rocks! yeah~.

1 more month until.... FEAST GAMES FREEDOM BOOZE SLEEP REST GIRLS GUNS AND FASTCARS! (minus the last 3 - sad)

James Barr at 9:59 AM

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

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another mrt entry coming up.
ever wonder why old people like getting off trains, buses or any moving vehicle so much? no neither do i and sometimes i find it kinda hillarious the extent they go just to make sure they are first off. 2 minutes before even arriving at dhoby ghaut, they pack together and charge towards the doors like some kind of wild animal on cocaine frothing at the mouth. then they carry their huge red plastic bags filled with fresh chicken from the market and oh yuk. it could be human body parts for all i know, seeing as to how violent they are in pursuit of their goal. i mean what do they get out of being first? even when you tell them nicely, "no auntie im getting off also". do they have some kind of senior citizen discount we dont know about?. the faster they tap their eZlink the more discount they get?

mom just came out the room shouting. which in her language "akjdnkajdnlajkdnalwfnb!!!!!!!!!!" means switch off the computer and go to bed. bye!

James Barr at 10:01 AM

Sunday, October 02, 2005

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msn conversations with Jeremy.

look carefully they are BUTTS!

James Barr at 1:52 AM

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