Thursday, September 29, 2005
in my last four friendster testis i have been called
i) "biatch" ii) "ASSHOLE" iii) "Hi Mr Fat F**K!!!!" iv) "DAMN DISGUSTING" whats left in this life for me tell me. :(
James Barr at 9:28 AM
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
todays mrt ride was quite freaky man. to start of i went to grab a spot in the small corners. you know the ones that are beside the seats where your butt mashes the glass against the persons face on the other side. yeah those. and i take out some notes to read, and this old lady comes and stands right in front of me. yeah grabbing the railing that is right next to me. and she too takes out some piece of paper, which looked more like a shopping list (which she read from farrer park to serangoon). i mean there was so much space?? and when the train began to empty out near serangoon she just stood there. there are so many other poles to go to. maybe the north pole would be best. i saw my opportunity and moved out slowly but steadily until i was in front of the door (which doesnt open). phew!
the other thing was this guy diagonally opposite. he was real buff and muscular and wore this shirt with real a lot of words man. but it had an interesting picture so it intruigued me. but everytime i started to stare at his chest (due to bad eyesight), he would glare back and it was one of those scary dont look at my boobs stares. but i just had to read it. i thought it might be one of those engrish.com shirts. at one point i just totally decided to stop trying to look, it was just too weird. then suddenly i felt empty with sadness cause i remember that its only a month and a bit before almost everything and everyone is gone. out!
James Barr at 8:14 AM
Friday, September 23, 2005
the monster within scratching and tearing at thin strands of flesh keeping
my will together. the demon glaring his deep purple eyes through smoke screen patterns of smoke forming the shape of hate surrounding and suffocating me. every muscle in my body achedwith the burden of guilt and every pigment in my skin filled to the brim with sweat. ya and then i crushed the ant lor.. haha the past few days have been so nice. i feel like a levels are over. i feel as though i dont have a care in the damm world. nothing to study. my books and notes are all over my table and i dont give a fricking shit! play games all night and sleep all day. soccer lan tennis and feasting. man if post-prelims is this good, just imagine what the possibilities are come post-alevels. another happening in my life this evening. while surfing friendster. i just have to make fun of this person. however bad it may make me out to be. people in the world must know that other people like this exist. yes they are not really found just in comic books. okay to start off her name is 'baObeiXVIIIFULokay.. so baobei i have no idea what the fuck that means. but im guessing something like beauty princess or sunflower girl. okay whatever. and the roman numerals suggest that this is her 18th account. i mean... WTF>>?>!@*&!^@ 18th account. each account holds 500 people. that means she knows 9000 people. apart from the fact that almost all her photos feature her in the same position ( looking up at the camera like theres some humungous fungus growth on the top of her eyeball that she doesnt wanna show) with different backgrounds all with outrageous titles such as "eeEeiks !! `~ ba0beiiz me0wy ?! L0L !!! `~"... if you find that difficult to read check out her Occupation: *-=¨·.+(¯`צü®vé®éñƒu×´¯)+.·¨=-*. and her Hometown: ·°¯`·• ßåØbêïïx ßåbÿiïê ¢å§†lê•·´¯°·. i sure dont know where that is but i sure as hell dont wanna go there. also when asked the question Favorite Music: languages are not forms of music. they are words that people speak. like hello how are you. that isnt a song now is it? oh dear. im getting a bit out of control. dont get me wrong i love ah lians and everything about them. i just cant stand them. i love em!
James Barr at 10:02 AM
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
i just spent the past 20 minutes blogging and when i press post what do they say??? "the blog is not found" or some shit like that. how the heck would i get to a post an entry screen if my blog doesnt exist. so there goes a whole entry down the drain. and wtf it was filled with juicy information and i even came up with a theory on addiction and daily essentials. ah whatever im not even going to try to reconstruct my entry. goodnight.
James Barr at 12:39 PM
Sunday, September 18, 2005
heres a thought to let you ponder upon.
 Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
James Barr at 11:32 AM
Saturday, September 17, 2005  HAHAHAHA X 999. this was so goddamm funny and disgusting at the same time it just got all my emotions running on high. hope it has the same impact. enjoy fools!
James Barr at 8:05 AM
two things you need in life.
  beer and donuts. courtesy of dad.
James Barr at 7:58 AM
Monday, September 12, 2005
history paper is tomor. bugger man these prelims are like so hard.... i mean like totally...
another thing is bugging me about that mentos ad. the slogan.. wait for it.. "fresh goes mentos. mentos fresh and full of life" mento's do not have the capability to talk therefore they cannot go "fresh!" and they are not alive and hence cannot be "full of life" it makes no sense. its like one of those japanese ads where they just put random english words to make it look cool. which reminds me. www.engrish.com . wont regret ah. laugh my arse off. japs are bloody useless at translations. or do they speak the same non-sequitor way in japanese. you desire to munch the ramen? sushi is the very good fish of the ocean... which reminds me i saw a sushi buffet for only $13 near my house. which reminds im in my house. which reminds me i have to sleep now.
James Barr at 7:19 AM
when your lying down.
and your phone is bedside. dont you ever just wish you'd get that goodnight message?
James Barr at 7:17 AM
Thursday, September 08, 2005
in the MRT today while reading PC magazine i just couldnt help myself come up with some captions for them.. hey dont look at me like that...
 justin had his first taste of exitement at a tender age.  "what if i was........"  daddy is that the new supersoaker 2000 ?  john those arent the documents i asked you for...  wanker!
James Barr at 6:23 AM
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
two things have been deeply disturbing me and poking and proding at my sides the entire day today. and they just are so annoying that i have to put them out here to dry instead of dampening my mind with useless rubbish.
the first being about MOS burger. i mean what in the @#&*^@# are they doing creating a LETTUCE BURGER? i mean who makes a burger using lettuce. lettuce is used IN a burger. like a big mac for instance where lettuce is used on the first and last layers of the burger in between three pieces of BREAD. the bread is what makes the burger man. whats a burger without bread? its not a burger then is it? and this MOS BURGER is a slice of terriyucky chicken in between slices of lettuce. which is probably going to crisp and tear apart while biting into it. if they think its appealing to people on a diet, they are severely dilluded. i mean eat a *uc*ing salad for christ sakes. why eat a piece of meat wiht lettuce??? its not a burger..... wanks. secondly the mentos ad. ( the one where the dumbass paints his floor wronlgy) i mean who is really dumb enough to paint their room so they end up trapped at the other end. i mean who really starts painting their room from the door. even a three year old kid would know that. and why the hell is he painting the floor anyway?? who paints floors?? and this is substantiated by the f#(@*#@ awful colour he uses which is lime green. who the heck in gods sacred name paints a floor LIME GREEN. youd just get a headache looking at it all the time. and this stupidity seems to impress the girl next door. "oh look hes painted himself into a corner. how funny and cute. i shall give him a mentos" and he pops it into his mouth. firstly you dont pop mentos' into your mouth cause its physically impossible. the mentos cannot pop out of the tube. ive tried it before. secondly the mentos seems to give him extra brain power. suddenly he gains 1412412 million brain cells and comes up with the ingenious idea of painting his shoes gree as well. in REAL life, mentos' only serves to decrease your sperm count, increase your blood pressure and add to the risk od diabeties. also painting your shoes green is not going to help your situation because its going to leave foot prints all over your newly painted floor. so is this new found smartness really good?? i guess not. if that were me id be like "hey thanks man, now im like gnona jump over this fence and proceed over to your place where we can eat more mentos' together". this guy is more interested in walking across his painted floor by spoiling his new shoes and decreasing his sperm count... no sense... no sense... aaah i feel much better now, except its really hot, i dont have air con, my skin is itching, theres an ant running around in my keyboard and theres nothing good on T.V.....
James Barr at 8:05 AM
Saturday, September 03, 2005
following three entries courtesy of the world wide web
James Barr at 12:28 PM
Darth Vader vs Luke Skywalker
A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke looks round, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down. DARTH VADER: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father." LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!" DARTH VADER: "No! I am your father!" LUKE: "No, that's not true! That's impossible." DARTH VADER: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true." LUKE: "NO!" DARTH VADER: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that queer brass droid of yours?" LUKE: "Threepio?" DARTH VADER: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was 7 years old." LUKE: "No." DARTH VADER: "Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp." LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!" DARTH VADER: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!" LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault." DARTH VADER: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!' You make me sick." LUKE: "Shut up!" DARTH VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi Knights!" LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!" DARTH VADER: "Oh, for the love of God, 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!" Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it. DARTH VADER: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine. Get out of my sight, you loser!" Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him. DARTH VADER: "AND GET A HAIRCUT!"
James Barr at 12:21 PM
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In University I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 21 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 25 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. When I turned 28, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am now 30 and am looking for a girl with very big tits.
James Barr at 12:03 PM
Mental Health Hospital answering machine:
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ... If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press; no one will answer. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your Mother's maiden name. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you. If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
James Barr at 12:00 PM
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your lipstick, his collar
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole 
i am james, you are stranger.. lets make love.
13/f/sg
millionsopeaches@hotmail
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full,
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