Thursday, December 29, 2005

---

we'll laze around decide what to wear.
what to put on just to take off,
at the end of the night in someone elses room.
you lean over and light my cigarette,
the tip sizzles into action,
sending its haze to cloud the view.
but amber lights are always better i said.
but now i wasnt so sure, because the lights are off.
never knew i would end this night,
with your knife in my back,
and a t-shirt to prove i was there.

James Barr at 8:39 AM

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

---

uninspired for lenghty period of time.
botherless about this space here.
not that is entirely matters to anybody.
astalavista!!

James Barr at 7:59 AM

Monday, December 26, 2005

---

it is not often one gets to relive his childhood. flirt the lines of childish behaviour. indulge in a certain familiar taste of retardedness. nevertheless, however stoopid this may seem, me with my partner in crime have mixed our child-thinking-brains, some lego and some adult themed items. the outcome, is well... below.

you've got to start somewhere..

the famas rifle!

jeremy modelling the famas rifle, ready to frag the new kids on the block.

pistols

tired of captioning...

James Barr at 10:00 AM

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

---

feel like a lazy lump of lard recently. ive got to get off my big fat arse and actually do something that shall contribute to our dying earth. make some sort of human connection other than the kind msn messenger poses. and eat food that grows from soil or is derived from something with four legs, instead of the processed and artificial stuff that im spilling into my belly. well i have been out of the house just yesterday, to make my visit to tan tock seng to get checked up, checked around and checked out with a hefty bill of $30. the doctor has given some good news. its actually not that serious and its gotten better. he says i am now "in the upper limit of normal". and i sat there wondering what the hell that meant. i wonder what the lower limit of normal is. maybe thats like for people who are so different than normal but yet not different and so are on the lower limit of normal. this therefore means the higher you are the more unhealthy and destroyed you are and the lower you are the better. see below.



and therefore we are all born into the world in the blue area. we are all not infected with disease and such shit like sars, rashes or bird flu. all this assuming you are not infected with an inherited disease. that or you are not born without legs or arms or premature or blind or with underdeveloped bones or... ya so... then as we age we get more and more unhealthy with macdonalds contaminating our systems and KFC working wonders down there. so we shift and shift to the green zone. although green seems so suggest safety, it is merely normal. so this is where the majority lie. and so as we age even further we get even more diseases and problems and injuries and so we are in danger! means we can die soon. so then the very tip, where the diagram itself ends and there is no further point beyond this besides the empty space of heavenly/hellish antimatter that nobody can imagine. and therefore this is death. the very end of existence. there now we can say that life itself is a funnel. we move in a triangle towards the tip and are flushed out of life. therefore as we can see. at age 18 i am pretty freaking close to the tip. well all this is feeding off the doctors words that is. my interpretation of it. it may mean im like okay.

"well sonny that does just look like a total pile of bullcrap. why dont you head inside and do something useful like help your mother hang up the washing eh?"

anyway the lack of entries is probably because the computer is being taken back and forth between computer fix man and the house because the computer is screwing up. i swear its got a mind of its own. microsoft word works FINE for moms work but games just hang after 3 minutes. evil piece of technology. anyway i shall leaveyou with the thought of the limits or normality and then prompt you to find which area you lie in. im off to catch morning comedies like morning with bonnie and some show with 4 siblings. hahah rocks!! thereafter catching jamie oliver at 12pm.

after reading what i have written/wrote/writed/wrotten above i have really come to the conclusion that i need to make drastic changes to my life as it is now. i feel like studying! i feel like direction and commitment to going to classes and being punished for being late. i need a job. i need a girlfriend. i need to read! and most of all i need food. therefore this morning i put my plan into action. my masterplan to conquer the world! oh oops wrong one. okay here it is. my masterplan to get my life into order! i woke up with extreme hunger so i actually cooked for the first time since home econs classes! i made a cheese omeltee ( omellette - but i like to pronounce it o-melt-ee) anyway it is so satisfying eating your own cooking. thats if it doesnt suck though. so i now have food. i have concurred with jeremy that we need jobs. and so we are going to apply at ********** because they need people. and so we just need to execute that plan. i then headed/head/ (is that how you spell it?) to the bookshelf and brought out my old book, the one i always read the starting of and a week later forgot where i was and what has happened so far and had to read the starting all over again. so now here i am in that same situation and yet i am going to finish it this time! really. no really i am. serious. girlfriend is going to be hard to do in just a morning, so ill just hug my bolster. and as for punishment i guess ill just whip myself.

wah my life has just exploded into action adventure like an atomic bomb!

suddenly i am a man on a mission. a person with perseverance. a boy with big adventurous spirit. a dude with desire. a guy with great cause. a human with a huge ambition. a homosapien with ham! and thanks to you i have taken my first step and missed the first program of the day and primetime morning. bugger!

James Barr at 6:07 PM

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

---

i said i needed you, when you glided into bed.
climbed over me and adopted your spot.
the sun premature in its perch yet.
your eyes worn out and grumpy.
but your smile sheepishly curves in the end.
we were still in our sunday best.
mondays spell blue, but your bright magenta.
like the best flowers in a blossoming forest.
lets orchestrate this slowly my dear.

i said i needed you when it was late.
and we were by the bay, the water glistening.
i still remember your little dance.
your movement was always like an artist,
as he applied his strokes to his canvas.
you were always erratic and spontaneous.
it stung at my confidence and ate my words.
you always frowned when i said this.
but lets choreograph our thoughts slowly my dear.

i said i needed you when we were young.
we'd watch sunday morning cartoons together.
and share our brown bag lunches.
we'd grow slightly older and gaze at stars.
huddle together on frosty sparkling grass.
we were'nt wise and that we knew.
but that didnt stop us from masterminding,
plans to conquer the world in a week.
but lets draw up blueprints to keep this together my dear.

i said i needed you on the 4th of april.
when you obviously needed me more.
emergency rooms full of busy ghosts.
fluttering from ward to ward in white.
and their you lay, shot a smile my way.
plugged into the exellent machines.
the electric fountain fills you through a tube.
ill stay a while my dear, a while more.
so lets carefully traverse this together my dear.

its not supposed to be a poem, a letter or a note.
its just a simple ode that was hurriedly wrote.

James Barr at 11:55 AM

a dumer.
as for him it is a wound once in a while to strike it too much.

translation: A drummer. It is wonderful for him to hit his drums a lot.
or : A drummer. As for him it is a wind up of his elbows everytime he strikes his drums too much.
or : A drum set. As for him it is a round one, while he hits it too much.

you get the point.

James Barr at 10:47 AM

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

---

dark circles around eyes like a lightweight knockout, skin ressembling that of a reptilian creature, a nose running like a marathon runner and veins twisted like.. well twisted veins. my luck with health is left to be desired. its like the gods have some master plan to make fun of me. the god of health and youth and strength are all just playing practical jokes on me because they got bored with other humans. i swear its not only them. my luck with buses is somewhat similar to my luck with health. based on the fact that my buses are always the last to come. its like some kind of curse. im at a bus stop with 112,113,119,136,147 and 74. im waiting for a 147. and guess what? every single bus comes before it and even 113 comes twice. my mum was taking 113. she tried to get on the bus before the doors opend and ended up banging the doors. she then boarded and started shouting at the driver. at that point i had something to thank the god of embarrassment for! lucky i never take bus with her ah. if not jialat. anyway back to the whole gods masterplan thing. to top it all off lately the god of fridge hasnt left any food in there. the god of good television is on vacation and the god of shouting has done a very good job manifesting in the form of my mother. what have i dont to offend the gods you tell me? okay so im a minority race made from two minority races. so im a minority of minorites. but we dont have to get all racist here man. you call yourself gods. you should be ashamed of yourself. but wait the god of shame is taking a shower. aww bullshit!!!

anyway just want to take this time to apologise to sarah rod of the pussycat clan because we failed to turn up at your play. due to unforseen circumstances (someone being late <-- cb) we were too late to go. so we are bery the bery sorry! but im sure you rocked the stage and had a blast and blasted the whole audience away. you go girl! - cue anita sarawak hand movement.

on a lighter note im putting on weight. hahah i cant exercise cause im slightly immobile so basically i just eat and walk and eat summore. but i dont care if i get fat its all planned already. unless i change it. ill just like have booms and declines in weight just like the business cycle. except im not inclined to buy any stocks or shares of fat and/or weight. this makes absolutely no sense to me and i shall end this paragraph before it gets too out of hand.

shall we end with a prayer today since we have been on the topic of gods.

god of strength give me might.
dont get me into a fight.
god of money give me cash.
god of skin cure my rash!
gods of tv computer and fun
give us hope for whats to be done.
ill be good and do my chores.
cleanse my face from nasty pores.
make me strong and make me good.
so ill be the most dangerous in da hood.
but whats most important of all.
is dont screw my life up la balls.
i say this prayer with all my heart.
god of wind sorry la i just......

James Barr at 7:05 AM

Monday, December 12, 2005

---

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

James Barr at 11:23 AM

when your bored you do things that dont really seem to make much sense.
today i decided to do something constructive with my life.
i have surfed friendster in search of the lamest and weirdest named person.
and i have come up with a few candidates.
if you would be so kind as to give your opinion of who is the lamest, he or she shall get an award.
no kidding, ok here goes nothing.

-XiaO SkY

'cuttiiegurlx'

xiaopepper ONE

-o'ReaLiTy'oONE

BABBYDEVIL-II <-- (think she meant baby)

beloved-MOMENTZ

xiaOo-piggy

-children-

XiaoWei-FC <--- ( not a football club no)

'-MonkeyAngle <-- (think he meant angel)

' aKi aCc F

- KoLoK -

' ' 'PopPeoXIII

' mAke-uP qUeen

' baby snowy -

yes i know their all so nice so hard to choose right. but ive realised a trend in lame names. they all start with a weird character like ' or - and they all either have the words baby, angel or xiao. some of which are spelt wrongly. anyhow the world of friendster is very interesting.. but sometimes if you venture too far.. you might stumble upon BAbYxXxL0vEr2005xxWorXLuV99cUteGeRzwOrSnoWyQueEnxXbElovEdSalTShaKer2006bAby.
so take care hOrx.

James Barr at 7:01 AM

Saturday, December 10, 2005

---

tried to play a MSN word game with jeremy, but as always it ends in this

wait the secret stars says:
dude this is goingon my blog
wait the secret stars says:
censor!
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
hahaha
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
yah balls
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
FUCKKKK!
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
GIVE UP LAH!
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
hahahah
wait the secret stars says:
chee bye la

and...

talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
ahahah i just screwed it up!
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
hahaha
wait the secret stars says:
ahh fuck it
wait the secret stars says:
gotta play it in person
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
ahaha

or simply confusing piece or nonsense...

wait the secret stars says:
start with something random
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
shorts
wait the secret stars says:
okay boxer shorts
wait the secret stars says:
you start or i?
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
uuu
wait the secret stars says:
oxygen
wait the secret stars says:
go figure
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
haha
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
yah i'm doing that now
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
hahaha
wait the secret stars says:
okay la air
talk to me and i'll give you a million dollars! says:
ballroom
wait the secret stars says:
dancing?

James Barr at 12:26 PM

i now devote this space on the internet for..
my SHRINE for melissa theuriau!
ohhmmmm.....

James Barr at 11:23 AM

felt sick getting off the bus the other day. i shall now introduce to you the "ah pek". he is a mischevious character that lurks at the back of buses. the disgusting thing is that every few seconds or so they have to back a body sound. the have to either grunt and gargle their spit in their mouth. or sniff their nose. or clip their toe nails. the sounds they emit from the back of the bus are just plain horrific. and they all seem to wear the same thing, like they all came from the ah pek accademy where they got their free uniforms! they come in whire shirt ( well i call it a shirt but its more like just cloth with 4 holes) smeared in char siew sauce or something resembling char siew sauce. and they all have this dodgy mustache going on. not to mention the handkerchief they always carry around to yonk spit into. arrr pui. but the most curious item is the plastic bag. they all have the plastic bag. its like a signature for them. ntuc, cold storage, the red market one, or the blue pasar malam one. and it always makes you wonder what is inside..

its kinda like a hobo thing. those american hobos who roam the lands with their plastic bags and shopping carts stolen from wall mart. the scary part is that hobos are usually very violent and like to kill people. ( stereotype ) . well its true they do all kinds of weird shit man. i read in fhm once, there was this one mass murdering hobo that collected his victims feet ( shoes attatched ) in his bag and continued around from state to state killing and cutting his way. well i guess he wasnt caught to early. i mean how hard would it be. just go around looking for a dude with a bag full'o'feet what? there was another one with fingers but im sure you dont really wanna know. anyway the "ah pek" always reminds me of the hobo, and the fact that they carry plastic bags makes it a whole lot scarier. for all you know it could be tongues, eyeballs, toes or ears!! serial toe nail murderers might be on the loose. or it could just be char siew rice la.. who knows.

these fuckin bats near my house are starting to get on my nerves man! when you come home late at night they always fly from tree to tree and then you have to run really quick through the road just in case one hits you in mid air. i mean i just have the thought embeded in my mind. might be a childhood experience who knows. imagine a bird is flying and it flys straight into your abdomen! and its beak is like impaled into your body. and its all strugling and shit. but birds cant fly backwards so it keeps flying straight and impales you further and further in. especially blackbirds. now those are scary arses. even a small one would be scary. like one with really sharp beaks. but i mean bats, comon... mammal la, friend la... dont scare liddat la...

so my health condition which in previous entries you might have seen has been causing me pain ( like a mother fu**a) is something to do with veins being twisted and shit. so its affecting my hip and my balls!! oh gawd not the balls. but not too worry i am strong and shall live a normal life! i might just go for minor surgery to repair the veins and stuff. oh well exiting what? and this condition is like a 10% of people get so i get to add another minority injury/condition to my list! yay im going to be textbook for doctors! speaking of trainee doctors they all inspected my ahem region and wahlau in great numbers.. but i dont wanna talk about it! no la no la... they treat me as a guinea pig. but even guinea pigs get snacks.. all they gave me at tan tock seng was a plate of rice and green vegetables and TOFU. like wtf. give me a cracker man. the animals get em? yeah and they poked lotsa stuff into my arms but for no goddam reason. they stuck this long tube inside to inject antibiotics but they only did it once. and when they took it out it kept bleeding. the nurse never press hard enough la. oh well... life goes on...

enjoy your holidays everyone. anyone... someone?
awwwwbeedaymed!

James Barr at 10:00 AM

Thursday, December 08, 2005

---

DIE MOTHER FU***NG TECHNOLOGY. YOU ARE A NO GOOD SONNOFABITCH AND YOU SHOULD DIE A MISERABLE DEATH!! GOOD FOR NOTHING WHORE STRUMPET ASS LICKING SHIT FACE LOSER DICK LOOKING SHORT MOFO WITH AN IQ THAT OF PEBBLE AND A HUGE NOSE THAT LOOKS FUNNY AND MAKES YOU LOOK UGLY YOU FUGLY PIECE OF CRAP NEVER SAW ANYTHING THATS AS BAD LOOKING AS YOU IT SORES MY EYES AND APART FROM YOUR LOOKS YOUR HEART DRIPS WITH THE BLEAKEST BLACKETS EVILNESS AND YOU ARE A MISERABLE LONELY FOOL WITH NO FRIENDS AND LOTS OF FACIAL HAIR AND YO MOMMA BRINGS FOOD TO YOU EVERY AFTERNOON AND CLEAN CLOTHES BUT WHATS THE POINT CAUSE YOU DONT TAKE SHOWERS ANYWAY YOU SMELLY MOTHER FU***R AND THATS NOT ALL CAUSE YOU ARE FAT TOO HAHAH YOU COME TO OUR PLANET AND TAKE HUMANITY BY ITS THIN THREADS AND SWING IT ABOUT WITH ALL YOUR SMANCY FANCY COMPUTERS AND PORTABLE DEVICES WELL JUST FU** OFF CAUSE WE DONT NEED YOU BECAUSE ALL YOU DO IS CREATE TROUBLE AND LOSE US MONEY AND JUST SCREW EVERYTHING UP AND LEAVE A WHOLE PATH OF DESTRUCTION IN YOUR PATH YOU STUPID DWARF LICKING GREEN PIMPLE FACED RETARDED AND SEMI PATHETIC INDIVIDUAL AND ID REALLY LIKE TO KICK YOUR TEETH WITH MY BOOTS BUT I DONT WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR LOOKS OH AND YOUR PARENTS SHOULD HAVE USED BIRTH CONTROL PILLS AND SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU A LISCENCE FOR BEING SO IGNORANT SO WHY DONT YOU SLIP INTO SOMETHING MORE COMFORTABLE LIKE MAYBE A COMA HUH? DIE DIE DIE. DIE!...

well yes, so i have been having computer trouble lately...

James Barr at 7:15 AM

Sunday, December 04, 2005

---

im just so over the top pissed off at the universe right now. i swear i could just get up and smash something up right now. but i cant particularly move so ill just sit here. it started while i was watching television ( that sneaky bastard). so i was sitting (lying) there watching the documentary on Krakatoa, the worlds most famous volcanic eruption in indonesia. so the whole show got me so hungry to see the bloody thing explode. they kept referring to it. "the gigantic blast of Krakatoa was about to take place". "the tremors were felt and the locals knew it was about to happen". so there you are just waiting to see the humungous explosion and tsunami wiping everything out and cool special effects. but NOOOO! it just goes on and on and on about what happens before. like what the locals expected and what they did before the blast. like who gives a shit man?? did people really care what Hitler did BEFORE genocide. did people like go oh look at that small boy. hes going to grow up to be stalin. interesting. okay thats besides the point and i shant make myself look stoopid any further. so at the end they leave you so abruptly, so suddenly, its all just so unreal. "tune in to Part 2 to witness the huge devastation caused by the Krakatoa blast" and "Krakatoas leaves in its wake rubble and destruction. catch all this next sunday on channel news asia". and you just sit there and scream a thousand curses. but due to restrictions of movement i just kinda sat there motionless and expressionless and decided to move on with my life instead of dwelling in a television show.

AH but then we move on to the internet. the thing that made life so easy!!!! yeah right. so i wanna watch a john mayer video on yahoo. so i search search so happy and i find like this cool archive of videos to stream but when i click it says you need Internet Explorer 7.1 or Mozilla Firefox 1.0.4 in order to run it. like what the hel why do you guys have to keep coming up with updates??? is it really faster or better. its like soon everything will be applicated in split second technology. and soon enough it will become so fast it will switch to like -2 seconds. so before you even want something, you get it! like there will be an oven that detects your stomachs movements and cooks a pizza ahead of time for you to eat. so your like god im hungry and POOF theres a baking hot pizza on the table. so anyway i download the latest mozilla thingy ( Mozilla Firefox 1.5) and search for the page again. and in my search the FIRST PARAGRAPH OF THIS ENTRY WAS LOST due to the browser restarting without a bloody warning. okay.. so i get the video up and it says you need a plugin so i download that as well which requires a few minutes of work clicking here and there. so then when everything just seems to be going fine! i get this fucking message : "We're sorry, this version of Firefox is not supported. We are working on a compatible version for this browser. You can download a previous version of Firefox here!".
so its like you cant have a TOO updated version. yet you cant have a not so updated version. so what they want us all to be middle updated Firefox users?? there is no sense to the internet. and yahoo videos, mozilla, plugins and whatever else can just go piss off and eat their own shit!

so its now 3am and there is nothing to watch on television except Cops xmas special. wtf is that anyway i only read the title. like cops in santa costumes hunting down criminals with a sleigh? like ho ho ho what you doing with a ho? your going to jail, just grab ol rudolphs tail. and then after that they show the most uninteresting and boring italian football who nobody in singapore gives a shit about. its like two unknown teams playing in a stadium where the crowd throw flares like the english throw hotdogs. cant channel 5 even afford lets say spanish football? at least some people in singapore care about that. im sorry for the rant which does not seem interesting even to me. its probably my hip/groin/otherparts that are hurting so bad that they are manifesting their bleak black evilness in my entries.

back to the doctor tomorrow where we shall find out what shall cause my death. this or old age.

James Barr at 10:44 AM

Saturday, December 03, 2005

---

Did you Know?

• In large cities, Americans are photographed on the average of 20 times a day.
• Everything you charge is in a database that police, among others, can look at.
• Supermarkets track what you purchase and sell the information to direct-mail marketing firms.
• Your employer is allowed to read your E-Mail, and if you use your company's health insurance to purchase drugs, your employer has access to that information.
• Government computers scan your E-Mail for subversive language.
• Your cell phone calls can be intercepted, and your access numbers can be cribbed by eavesdroppers with police scanners.
• You register your whereabouts every time you use an ATM, credit card, or use EZ PASS at a toll booth.
• You are often being watched when you visit web sites. Servers know what you're looking at, what you download, and how long you stay on a page.
• A political candidate found his career destroyed by a newspaper that published a list of all the videos he had ever rented.
• Most "baby monitors" can be intercepted 100 feet outside the home.
• Intelligence agencies now have "micro-bots" -- tiny, remote control, electronic "bugs" that literally can fly into your home and look around without your noticing.
• Anyone with $100 can tap your phone.
• a new technology called TEMPEST can intercept what you are typing on your keypad (from 100 feet away through a cement wall.)
• the National Security Agency has a submarine that can intercept and decipher digital communications from the RF emissions of underwater phone cables.

James Barr at 9:41 AM

Friday, December 02, 2005

---

a moment of silence please for those who never get the chance
they show up to the party but they're never asked to dance
the losers the liars the bastards the thieves
the cynicists, the pessimists and those that don't believe in nothing

i never met a loser that i didn't see eye to eye with, i declare
i stare into your eyes
but you look right past me into the air
what's it like to stand in your shoes?
to have never felt the belt of somebody's abuse?
i take the bottle and i tip it to all my heroes that have passed
alas, you have left us but your stories they will last
uninspired by the recruiting call
independent we stand
indepentend we fall

so tell me: how long do you think you can go before you lose it all?
before they call you bluff and watch you fall?
i don't know but i'd like to think i had control
at some point but i let it go and lost my soul
sit tight but the revolution's years away
i'm losing faith and i'm running low on things to say
so i guess i have no choice but to regurgitate
the tired anthem of a loser and a hypocrite
oh! to have died that night i realized it wouldn't last!
our days were numbered and the reaper tipped the hourglass
the final mayday of our sinking ship had come and passed
oh! to the west, you don't know what it is you're running from
and everybody's laughing loud
your last chance to make your mother and father proud

oh, oh, oh...

- a moment of silence by streetlight manifesto.

James Barr at 10:33 AM

Thursday, December 01, 2005

---

dearest psychiatrist,
WHO NEVER LISTENS!!!
i think im going mad. REALLY!
because when im walking the ground beneath me crumbles away.
and light shines through from below.
and when im tieing my shoelaces.
they just stretch and stretch and go on forever as i slide down along them.
OHH GOD!!
and that little girl in the corner.
she keeps asking me to play games with her.
but i keep coming up with excuses!!
she keeps trying.. again and again.. AND AGAIN!!!!
my friend said im suffering from this disease see..
schitzophrenia he said it was.
but i told him you know, i said i know that disease.
and the only person that has that is Jane.
but Jane died, and i buried her in my kitchen see.
HA HA HA....
TOMATO SOUP!!!
TOMATO SOUP!!!!!!
you know.. sometimes the doorbell rings.
but when i answer the door... nobody is there.
little dancing pixies with sparklers sing pretty songs for the disabled.
so i return back to my arm chair. yes very nice arm chair.
ITS BROWN!!!
hah...

James Barr at 7:22 AM

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