Monday, August 29, 2005

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(im increasing the font cause my eyesight is deteriorating.)
its funny watching my ARES. watching the little bars move slowly from left to right as my song downloads. then you extend the bar so its longer and so the bar moves little by little and that way it seems faster. its a bit like when your on a plane and they show that map with the tiny little plane. and because your so friggin bored you get so elated whenever the image of the plane moves ever so slighty. well sic transit gloria glory fades. then once your download is done you play the file and its one of those with all the static in the middle. damm piracy. well you sure wouldnt hope that would happen on your plane cause once your journey is finished, you wont want to realise youve just been on the wrong flight now would you.

i think that kinda applies to life as well. your always expecting something good to come out of your efforts. no matter how hard you try to expand the bar, the download doesnt move any faster. it just makes you think your getting there faster. by putting in your effort your only making yourself feel better for not putting in any effort at all. and sometimes after all that effort. you just dont get anything back in return. your left empty handed and half empty on fuel and stranded in the middle of the desert. and you'll pretend your just walking in the sand so passers by will just look on past you. as your sitting in your seat and you watch the plane slowly passing, you wish you could just do something to make it go faster. the inconsistent movements dont seem right as they are supposed to happen every 30 seconds but sometimes they take 40 or even 15. you cant control it. its just a screen, its not going to listen to you. your just a viewer. your one of those passer bys because you dont matter as well. your simply a cactus upon which people get hurt. and as i pass through the desert i'd look on at the cactus and think. what a nuisance.
what a nuisance...

im so bored im so bored.

this is the moment.
that you know.

James Barr at 8:34 AM

today i made my awy down to the national skin clinic to get my atomic monotitis or something like that. a.k.a eczema. yes i am a scaly and dry skin freak. a bit like a leper if you ask me. anyway i went down with the notion of finally getting my excuse letter from national service. haha yes i could smell the desk job already. but the skin doctor had other ideas. instead of walking out with an excuse letter, i got a whopping $50 bag filled with enough ointment and emulsifier to lubricate a ferris wheel. im serious. the doctor put me on an intensive 6 week course of applying, applying and more applying of ointment. im going to be so oiled i could slide around the house. i could probably slide off my bed in sleep, and slide out the door and bang a wall or something. anyway he also gave me a 6 week course of anti biotics to make sure my stuff doesnt get infected with rabies or whetever he had in mind. in addition to that, to counter the effects of the steroid cream and ointment ( severe itching ) he has prescribed antihestamines. in other words i have to take pills to sedate myself to sleep. so here i am sitting in front of the computer with all my medicine taken and pills popped, and limbs creamed waiting for the effects of sedation to set in.

so my french exam is tomor and i cant attend the JC world cyber games. fuck that. i mean how fucking ZHUN can you get?? i MEAN THIS IS FOR REAL! there are 365 days in a year. there are 24 hours in a day. so thats, wait lemme load my coms calculator, eight thousand six hundred and seventy hours in a year and my french prelims have to coincide BY THE FRICKIN HOUR with the world cyber games inter JC. this is seriously the gods working against me. so while all of you are fragging and winning noobs from other colleges, ill be sitting in a non aircon room filled with nerdos and bitchy teachers taking an exam ill probably get an F for anyway.

woah sedation........rocks..........

James Barr at 7:59 AM

Sunday, August 28, 2005

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woke up today to the sound of my mum shouting. we have to seal this place up. stupid bugs are coming in. this was due to her finding 1 cockroach in her bedroom and having emptied half a can of baygon, managed to kill it (with enough baygon to kill an entire colonyof the little critters). anyway she made me seal all of the windows up with a cloth netting and using masking tape to tape it to the walls. im now living in a house totally protected from bugs! but also a house that is totally protected from any form of ventilation at all. nutcase! i swear shes totally obsessed. this reminds me of my uncle who uses masking tape for everything. including keeping his house together. one time a section of his roof caved in and he literally pasted it back with masking tape. and his new mercedes car was mauled by his kids and the handle of one of the doors came off. so he just taped it back. back of television remotes, bookshelfs, refirgerator, toilet sink, you name it and he taped it. what a bunch of retards i have as family members.

im watching home run and i feel like punching the small kid on the bad guys side. hes so frickin annoying.

i havent studied all weekend. im fucked.

James Barr at 5:42 AM

Thursday, August 25, 2005

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MOE language centre people just do not know how to have a good time. i mean what do they give you breaks for? ill tell you. they play magic the gathering cards and talk about naruto and anime shit while maintaining their pants just below where their tits end. oh yeah and theres a sign on the other side of the wall "no waiting". this didnt really match the scene as there were about 10-12 people waiting outside the classroom ready to take their oral exams. so who doesnt like the moelc? please raise their hands!

well they do.

and these wankers.

and.........

James Barr at 9:00 AM

Sunday, August 21, 2005

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what i saw today: movie quotes.
hey they make up for pictures alright. aite!


Joel: [In the house on the beach] I really need to go. I should catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I walked out the door. I was too nervous. I thought, maybe you were a nut. But you were exciting. I felt like I was a scared little kid.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said so go. Said it with such disdain you know?
Clementine: Oh I'm sorry.
Joel: It's ok.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed to. I swear to god I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish... I wish I had stayed.
[Walking out]
Clementine: Joel? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Pretend we had one.

- from eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

• Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

• I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroin?"

- from Trainspotting.

James Barr at 2:36 AM

Monday, August 15, 2005

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part two in my what i see everyday on the streets.
today:what i see between the pages of HerWorld magazine.

okay first of all dont ask why i was reading herworld magazine. cause i dont really know myself. i mean my prelims are in less than 4 weeks now and im reading a bloody female magazine. a shit one at that. i mean its full of rubbish. apart from truck loads of advertisements for facial products and hair straighteners, i came across some pretty "outstanding" articles. haha enjoy.


please read the small print. talk about tactless. i mean just the title. it just doesnt do something. i mean.. "my ex boyfriend was a suicide bomber". you really dont want people to know that. really.


i think this one is self explainatory. im not going to show the picture cause i think its better when you imagine it for yourself. think of someone who really is fat enough to die. thats kinda scary now isnt it. well herworld gottit covered. and she covered a lot of herworld.

yes well you must be a completely deranged psychotic nervewreck idiot if you do that. i mean what do you eat it with? salad dressing? mix it with tuna? mmmm... :D

James Barr at 6:56 AM

now ladies and gentlemen. or those people who are just as bored as me. i present to you the first in my series of "what i see on the streets". this series aims to create awareness among the youth of singapore as to what dangers lie out there! this is a serious matter.

today : what i see in katong?

wow. thats what i said to myself when i saw singapores cheapest lan shop. ive never seen LAN gaming that cheap at just $1. amazing. haha. the coms were pretty laggy though. i didnt play because gao bran and me just had to get our katong laksa.

BUT ALAS! what we come across next was set to shock us. bolstered by our economic knowledge ( or the lack of it) we realise that because of price competition in the area. a second LAN shop has sprung up. but it too is the CHEAPEST! so now we have two cheapests LAN shops in singapore.

damm copy la!

and as a bonus. this is what we saw written in ink on the monitors.

James Barr at 6:30 AM

Thursday, August 11, 2005

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ever bump into a cd where every song just means so much.
and you wanna write the entire lyrical down so people can
read it and maybe benefit from it as well. but then you just
change your mind. i changed my mind. i'd be writing entire
albums here for you.

id be writing entire albums here for you.

James Barr at 7:04 AM

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

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1+ 15 12.25 1|\| +|-|3 |\/|0|2|\|1|\|9 4|\||) 1 4|\/| |30|23|) 0|_|+ 0|= |\/|y |\/|1|\||). 1 j|_|5+ (4|\|+ 533|\/| +0 93+ +0 5|33|^. 50 1 |)3(1|)3|) +0 C|234+3 4 \/\/|-|0|_3 3|\|+|2y ||\| 1337. 1 j|_|5+ +4|_|9|-|+ |24(|-|3|_ |-|0\/\/ +0 |)0 1337 \/\/|21+1|\|9 (4|_|53 5|-|3 15 \/3|2y |30|23d +00. |-|4|-|4. (4|\| y0|_| |234|) +|-|15? 1|= y0|_| 4|23 Y0|_| 31+|-|3|2 |-|4\/3 |\|0 |_1|=3 0|2 4|23 |30|23|) 4|_50. +|-|4|\||< y0|_| |=0|2 |234|)||\|9 |\/|y 3|\|+|2y

i did it all myself and i didnt do it the pussy way through a 1337 generator. oh you know im da |\/|45+4! yeah you do. you know it.

James Barr at 9:25 AM

Monday, August 08, 2005

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by the way. my yo momma tags arent any offense directly to you.
if you feel that in any way i have insulted your family and you would
like to take some physical action on me. please reconsider. for yo momma
jokes are simply to be of no meaning whatsoever. if anyones momma would
be fat it would be..............

James Barr at 7:32 AM

brother why you crying.
brother wipe those tears.

sister why you weaping.
sister wipe those drops.

James Barr at 7:27 AM

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

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you stink. like of cheese or something.

by the way dont beleive this dumass movie "crops" or whatever. nono "signs". yeah cause crop circles were created by a couple of guys, some wooden planks and very fast feet. along with some foundation in basic or (hard?) geometry. the circles thing. whatever you call it. theres like an entire fucking website for this stuff.

you too can make crop circles. just head on down to this link.
http://www.circlemakers.org/guide.html






still beleive?

James Barr at 9:43 AM

deg de cha cha.
deg cha.
deg de cha cha.
deg cha.
deg de cha cha
bum dim dum dee dee dum di dum CLANG.
deg de cha cha.
deg cha.
deg de cha cha.
deg cha.
deg de cha cha.
deg cha.
deg de cha cha.
deg cha.
deg de cha cha.
deg cha.
deg de cha cha.
deg cha.
bum dim dum dee dee dum di dum CLANG.

CLANG deg deg cha.
CLANG deg deg deg cha.
CLANG cha CLANG dim dum dee doo dum bam cha.

say it out loud. trust me.

James Barr at 9:22 AM

drown it all out. drown drown drown.
alcohol is your friend.
drink my beer.
- Barr's Beer For The Broken Hearted. (Slogan Campaign 2005)

James Barr at 9:11 AM

fuck life and its ups and downs. its down and outs. the irrelevant details it throws at you. and the blows it delivers with every swing it takes. ive learnt to surf along with your waves, life. as the moon controls your tides as the higher being controls us. and blah blah BLAH?.......................AND.... would you like to have dinner?

meet me @ 8.
wait thats too late.
make it 7.30
cause thats when the bus comes,
by.
bye.

then after we'l take a walk down the gritty beach where the wet bits of gravel sand get stuck between toes. as it looks like in the movies when the moon has been pulled down to appear larger than life ( like in bruce almighty) <-- for those who watched it. and the moonlight would fill the air like poison gas. and it would be the perfect scene. and blah blah BLAH?..........................AND.... i'll see you in the morning.

meet me @ 6.
wait thats too early.
make it 7.30.
cause thats when the sun rises,
around.
see you around.

then we'd take the ferry out to the clear blue water, where the fish swim in schools, and we dream of swimming pools. and the sun would shine too bright so we need our sunglasses. the ones that are completely black so people cant see you staring at them, or checking out their legs. yeah, those. and it would turn bright into light so we could then look into each others eyes, and say this way the perfect scene. and blah blah BLAH?....................AND..... theres always more to the story.

meet me at 9.30.
wait thats not right.
make it 9.00.
cause thats when the show the movie
premiere.
your my premiere.

and then we'd watch television on one of those new plasma televisions. the ones that you can just stick on the wall and save lots of space. because reading to each other just seems so hard and difficult although they mean the same. books loose much meaning when words can be heard at a much faster rate. except that words sometimes can destroy. said, spoken or read. they change everything. with every word we take in, our perception of something changes. and as you read on, you change. whether you like it or not.

meet me at 12.00
no wait thats too early
make it 12.05.
just to be safe, supersticions and
all.
your my all.

and then we'd get one of those things. you know. dogs yeah thats it. and we'd name our dog milo cause we both watched the mask and thought that milo would be a cool name for a dog because it just sounded good and milo was brown, and so was the dog. so it made a lot of sense. except it would be spelt mylo. not that it made much difference as when you say "mylo" it sounds like "milo", but if you read it it makes all the difference. then again what difference? i guess its just to be different.

meet me at 7.34
wait thats not right.
make it 7.38.
just to be a bit different from the
rest.
you need a rest.

but then there'd come a point when we have nothing left to do. and we just sit down. this time we'd sit with books. because now they just make more sense to us. we can avoid looking at each other this way, because we can stare at the words. death. glory. life. love. sex. money. and the words suddenly become television programs because they play out in your mind. sometimes in black and white, because most of the time you can hardly remember what youve been thinking about because its too far fetched for you conciousness to be aware of. but then when your back, you realise where you are. and suddenly you feel sad.


theres always more to the story.
theres always more to the story.
the end.

James Barr at 8:34 AM

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