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Saturday, March 04, 2006

singapore signs suck. apart from alliteration, the sentence is also cool because its true. yes i have managed to capture some impecable signs on my journeys and times. and seriously i have seen some that could just win an award for being so confusing, horrible or tourist loving (the opposite). so yes here they are, the nominees.
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this one is called "pick up litter and you'll be fined $1000" other options to titles were "have evil claw hands and possess a ticket and be fined $1000" and "litter and win $1000!!", by Serangoon bus interchange.
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this one, one of my favs! "what the fuck is this bomb doing here", by singapore MRT. ( on second thought, maybe they just are angry because the sign is in every language except their own. english, covered. chinese, covered. okay lets get an indian and malay to do the sign so we can save space on printing in their language. that way they wont rebel or protest. yes we are so smart we singapore advertisers)
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this one, the "welcome tourists but dont do the following 3 million things on you stay on our island. please enjoy your stay, standing up straight and not breathings because we dont want our air infected with stuff from YOUR country. oh and please dont read this sign because it might cause blindness. how we dont know yet, but just dont do it. and please walk away now because the sign might fall on your foot, and thus cause a mess to our enviroment. and thus we will have to fine you a huge amount of money for having a little fun. right get in line."
which also won an award for longest title as well. yay. so what cant we do in our national parks.
1) dont make the fish look at your hook.
2) dont try and kill butterflies with miniature nets.
3) this is cheese. yup..
4) dont ask the monkeys for blowjobs (they bite, not that i would know)
5) dont molest the poor birds.
6) no fucking idea what this is.
7) do not pretend to threaten the giraffes with hats.
8) dont invite the red heads.
9) no vehicles, because they tend to run people over.
10) do not bring dogs that have been pre-beheaded.
11) dont mend the broken plants. their dead! face it.
12) what the fuck is that?? dont buy radios with cricles around them?

singapore needs better signs, better artists and better signs. too stressed to continue. goodnight.

James Barr at 11:56 AM

your lipstick, his collar

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting i am james, you are stranger.. lets make love. 13/f/sg millionsopeaches@hotmail

Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound

But while you debate half empty or half full,

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It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

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If I could open my arms, And span the length of the isle of Manhattan, I'd bring it to where you are, Making a lake of the East River and Hudson. And if I could open my mouth, Wide enough for a marching band to march out, They would make your name sing, And bend through alleys and bounce off other buildings. I wish we could open our eyes, To see in all directions at the same time. Oh what a beautiful view, If you were never aware of what was around you. And it is true what you said, That I live like a hermit in my own head. But when the sun shines again, I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in. Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole. Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound. But while you debate half empty or half full, It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown. (4x) Your love is gonna drown. (4x) Your love is gonna...



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