_don't bother trying to explain, angel

valentines day. every womans favourite commercial holiday of february. every mans burn-a-fuckin-hole-in-my-goddamm-pocket-oh-holy-mother-mary-had-a-little-lamb-its-fur-
was-white-as-snow day. okay apart from the last bit its kinda true. it does burn holes in your pockets. but hey its worth it isnt it. yes deny yourself from the sad truth. as for me im neutral. yes the fact remains true its my 18th year consecutively without a valentine. yes someone give me a trophy! its also my 18th year consecutively not having to worry about the bill as well though. its also my 18th year consecutively wishing i had one though. lets not escape the truth shall we.

you yes you! reading this. be my valentine! no wait, your probably a fat dude from the phillipines eating a donut and in your boxers and sweated beyond repair white ah pek shirt. just like the dude from the phillipines who viewed my profile. now that was a scary incident. now for those who dont know friendster is a web service to connect friends together although it also provides windows for evil perverts and serial killers to chose victims. anyway this phillipines guy. for those who dont know hes in the archives somewhere. the archives somewhere on the right hand side of the page.

hey heres a challenge. how do you describe the right hand side without using the word right. and dont say not left because thats not allowed. i supposed you could like not wear a shoe on your right foot and then say "the side of my body without the shoe. so yah that direction! nono this way. yaya, thats right!!, oh fuck i just said right." right so anyway.

heres a quote from comedian mitch hedberg (now dead RIP). so i was in the restaurant the other day and i ordered a chicken hamburger. but the waitress didnt hear me properly so she asked, and how would you like your eggs done sir. so i tried to just go along with it, so i said. incubated. and then raised, and then beheaded, and then plucked, and then chopped up, and then put on a grill, and then in between two buns. man thats gonna take a while.. scrambled!! and yes i laughed my ass off.

so right back to valentines day. what this entry was supposed to be about. havent really packed for my leaving yet. ill probably just dump a shit load of clothes (un ironed of course) and be on my way. im gonna miss my friends, my computer, my guitar, oh yeah and theres my mum also. okay so back to the big day. ive written a poem for ya'all. hope you like it teehee.

roses are red,
violets are blue.
wait before i start,
theres gum on my shoe.

(ok)

beggars are poor.
all they need is pie.
we dont have dates,
but we'll still get high.

i am james.
you are a mystery.
valentines day is here,
my name tag spells misery! :(

if your free,
give me a call.
just dont tell me
your name is paul.

if your not,
its well okay.
we'll just make out
another day.

a girl like you.
would be good for me.
but look at my wallet,
my valentines is for free!

so dont be glum
if you dont have a date.
just stop by here.
especially if your names kate.

;)
happy valentines