_don't bother trying to explain, angel

following numerous entries on my mudder, i have yet more tales from the crypt to tell of her. yes she is that interesting. today is about contradiction. because she embodies the word so perfectly. its not fun having a mother that is menopausing and having severe mood swings and stress attacks. sometimes i feel kinda bad because i have absolutely nothing to do at all besides housework. and since i live with her alone, its kinda like having a wife that you cant divorce. like being trapped in a ant hill, with a million red ants biting you to death. like being hanged by the feet over a bed of spikes, only to have a small mammal chew the ropes. its like being chased by a boulder through a narrow passageway. its like trying to jump a gap in the rocks, but only to fail and end up ramming your nails into hard rock to try and salvage your life as you slide through. like.. well...

so its 9am and im listening to music and using the computer aimlessless in my attempt to entertain myself. mother storms in, i have to check my e mail. ( today is extra special because their taking my aunt to hospital, and not the type for injuries). if you didnt get that never mind, you actually shouldnt. so i leave my music playing while i exit the room to make a drink. i think the decemberists are mellow enough to let my mom listen to without having a nervous breakdown. but low and behold when i return she tells me, "what is this rubbish your listening to. teenage angsty crap. dont know what you all are listening to nowadays..". now the decemberists are not angsty at all. there we are. they are a very mellow slow sound and lyrics are far from puberty and breakups. i have a feeling that she is just having her mood swing and is feeling extra like, i want to find fault with something james is doing! even when im not doing anything at all.

my reply. whos the one thats angsty huh? daaaym. i mean its bad enough being scolded for something i AM doing. like say, not washing my cup this morning. and leaving the light on, or not hanging up my clothes, or something that could possibly cause the house to explode, or maybe leave a object 5 inches from the edge, which may possibly fall and cause unwanted trouble. now that i am F-I-N-E with. in fact im used to it. actually i kinda enjoy being scolded, because it makes me a better person. i learn to do things right from then on. i learn the value of money and also to value my own life and not take dangerous risks around the household. i also learn to keep my living enviroment clean. this is totally cool. but, to scold me for listening to soothing music and doing absolutely nothing is crossing the line!

this is WAR!